How Do You Know if Your Partner Really Cares About You?

Many people have difficulty identifying how their partners feel about them and if they're really loved. Below, we give a list of the indicators that suggest your partner really cares about you.

Reviewed and approved by the psychologist Sergio De Dios González.

Written by Valeria Sabater

Last update: 23 December, 2022

The topic of this article may seem rather obvious. After all, surely you know whether or not your partner really cares about you? Well, none of us are infallible and sometimes we make mistakes. And some mistakes hurt more than others.

In fact, many people have spent a large part of their time –and their lives- with partners who, in reality, have never loved them as they really deserved. Or as they expected. They may even have been betrayed. Alternatively, their partners may have never really believed too much in commitment.

It’s usually these kinds of failures that hurt the most. That’s because the wounded partner has invested all their time, effort, and hopes in the relationship. But now, their partner has, effectively, made them believe that certain aspects of their life together that seemed so important at the time, were meaningless.

Some partners never dare to say “I love you”. On the other hand, some simply don’t want to commit and give a future to the relationship. So it’s important to know how to recognize if your partner really cares about you. You may already know what to look for, but it never hurts to reflect on them.

1. They’re interested in the little things

Their interest in you isn’t only displayed by asking if you slept well or what time you finished work. It can be seen in their looks, gestures, and every other minor detail. For instance, they notice if something is worrying you when you get home from work and ask you what’s wrong.

Moreover, they want to know your opinion about certain things. They’re interested in your yesterday, today, and tomorrow. They want to know about your childhood, the hobbies you have today,  and what you think about the future.

You know that your partner loves you when their concern and need to know about you is sincere. In addition, you can appreciate, via their verbal and non-verbal language, their empathy toward you and, above all, their sincerity. You both notice and feel their interest in you.

2. They’re committed to you

Commitment is the need to maintain mature feelings in a relationship. It means your partner is interested in a tomorrow where you both remain united.

On the other hand, maybe you’re maintaining a sincere and gratifying relationship, but your partner doesn’t appear to want anything more. Moreover, they don’t seem interested in working toward a future together. If this happens, discrepancies will begin to emerge. That’s because your needs are different.

Maybe they’re happy with just a weekend getaway while you feel empty as you’re unable to form a home or a family. You must be wary of false promises. You need to be intuitive and pay attention to excuses and unfulfilled plans.

3. They want to be with you

Can anything be more basic and simple? Sharing your time, space, moments, opportunities, and noisy and quiet times together. They don’t give last-minute excuses or cancel a date at the eleventh hour, and they don’t spend more time away from home than they need to.

The time you spend together as a couple should be mutually enjoyable. Indeed, you should be happy just to be with each other. That said, you don’t have to be joined at the hip for 24 hours a day, or even at all. But, if you’re really important to them, you’ll notice that they look for moments to be with you. Furthermore, when you’re together, you both really enjoy yourselves.

4. They actively listen to you

If your partner really loves you, when you talk to them, you feel that they’re completely focused on what you’re saying. Having said that, obviously, this doesn’t happen all the time. However, when there’s something that’s worrying you or making you unhappy, you know that they’re there, listening to you, and remembering what you’ve said.

5. They respect you

A partner who really cares about you respects you in every way. They respect your ideas and opinions, even if they don’t share them and may not agree with you.

6. They support and encourage you

A partner who really cares about you will support you in your hopes and dreams. They also won’t object when you want to spend time with your friends. In the same way, they’ll maintain their own friendships and interests instead of looking to you to entertain them or meet all their social needs.

7. They’re always there for you

The partner who really loves you wants to spend time with you. You’re their priority and they demonstrate it to you with their actions, not only their words. They’re there every time you need them, every time you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to laugh with.

8. They defend you

If your partner really cares about you, they’ll defend you when you’re criticized or when someone attacks you. On the other hand, if they’re quick to criticize or attack you instead of defending you, this suggests that things aren’t going well and that they don’t care enough about you.

9. They include you

If they include you in their plans, it’s because they care about you. If they want you to participate in their hobbies, it shows that you’re not just any person in their life and that they value you. Of course, you must also understand that sometimes they’ll want their space.

10. They understand the importance of communication

How is the communication between you? Is there complicity and empathy? Candid listening? Do you remember their words, ideas, and comments? It’s essential that you attend to these dialogues, noticing their interest and gaze in which you see yourself reflected.

Words can have the power to hurt or offer happiness. They should never convey indifference. It’s an emotion where feelings have become frayed and where the words you say to each other no longer have the same effect that they used to.

If this is the case, it’s time to make a decision. You must protect your self-esteem at all costs and avoid maintaining a situation that, far from giving you hope, causes you even more pain.

Image courtesy Benjamin Lacombe.