Healing Love

Healing love only comes into your life if you're ready to acknowledge it. It's a spontaneous creation of the kind of intimacy that makes you feel really good.
Healing Love

Written by Edith Sánchez

Last update: 16 October, 2022

Healing love comes into your life to show you that, despite all the vagaries and disappointments, love is a worthwhile investment. You recognize this kind of love because it makes you feel confident and optimistic. Also, the dynamic of your relationship leads you to grow and want to be better.

The greatest contribution that a healing love can make is to the improvement of your mental health. In fact, without it necessarily being their intention, one who offers healing love helps you overcome your past wounds, intolerances, and anguish. They provide you with a kind of tranquility that’s easily transferred to other areas of your life.

You don’t always recognize healing love at first sight. Indeed these people don’t arrive with labels on their foreheads. Furthermore, unlike passionate love, in which you usually perceive a connection from the very first moment, a healing love tends to go from less to more. You have to be prepared to recognize it, welcome it, and work with it.

Love, whom they paint blind, is seer and insightful because the lover sees things that the indifferent does not see and therefore loves ”.

-Jose Ortega y Gasset-

embracing couple
There are relationships that help us to grow and to be better. They’re healing loves.

Wounds and shortcomings

The human mind is complex and operates with a disconcerting logic. Many people carry wounds from their childhood around with them. That’s because they didn’t get all the affection they needed as a child or they were abused. In a perfectly balanced ideal world, that kind of misfortune would be compensated by luck. However, this is an illusion.

As a matter of fact, these childhood wounds and shortcomings often carry enough weight to spoil the emotional bonds we build, whether they’re friendships or relationships. If you experience situations like this, you might feel as if you’ve been cursed or have been sentenced to some awful kind of prison sentence. You find yourself asking why you can’t find happiness.

The answer to this question usually lies within you, largely in your unconscious. Without realizing it, you often turn those wounds and shortcomings into the way you relate to others. You don’t notice it, but in various ways, you send messages to your partner such as “Save me”, “Give my life meaning”, etc. It’s also possible that you continually conflict with them in order to take revenge for the past, to soothe that hurt child you left behind.

Healing love

It’s not possible to build a healthy relationship if you’re not aware of the emotional debts that you haven’t settled in your past. For this reason, you might repeatedly find yourself involved in toxic relationships, or continually experiencing heartbreak or abandonment. However, believe it or not, it’s likely that this is all down to you.

In fact, it’s in this complex kind of context that healing love comes into play. It’s not the kind of love that’s going to make your fantasies come true, but one that’ll help you cope better with your own reality. The problem is that you won’t always be prepared to accept this wonderful gift.

You need to be aware of two things. Firstly, you carry within you certain deficiencies and unresolved conflicts. Secondly, many of your love fantasies aren’t going to come true because that’s what they are: fantasies. If you’re not aware of these two aspects, it’s highly likely that you won’t be able to experience a healing love.

Sad couple hugging because of miscarriage
Healing love helps you to better face reality.

Heal and allow yourself to be healed

The only way for healing love to come into your life is by taking care of yourself. First, you need to get to know yourself. Naturally, you probably think you know yourself, but, in reality, you don’t know why you feel so afraid of falling in love. Nor do you know why you become so jealous or scold your partner because you feel they don’t give you everything you need and want. In fact, you justify these behaviors, but you don’t understand them.

It’s also extremely important that you know what you can expect from love. You must recognize that it won’t necessarily make you happy forever. It’ll require work, patience, and tolerance to become deep and solid. You may find it difficult to believe, but when you become truly aware of all of this, healing love will knock on your door.

This is because you’ll be ready to no longer project your unsatisfied needs, complexes, and neuroses onto another person. You’ll be in a position to build a healthy relationship, one that’ll help you balance your subjectivity. It’ll also allow you to verify that there are other ways of experiencing love and you’ll feel that everything is going to be alright. This is what healing love is like. It’s wonderful and transforming.

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • Aragón, R. S. (2007). Significado psicológico del amor pasional: lo claro y lo obscuro. Revista Interamericana de Psicología/Interamerican Journal of Psychology41(3), 391-402
  • Cyrulnik, B. (2020). El amor que nos cura. Editorial Gedisa.
  • Moreno, I. Y. L., Castillo, J. L. B., Vargas, C. A. M., & Zúniga, F. S. (2019). Influencia de las carencias afectivas en las relaciones de pareja en mujeres universitarias. Revista Científica de FAREM-Estelí, (32), 75-84.
  • Stamateas, B. (2012). Heridas emocionales: sanar el pasado para un mañana mejor. B De Books.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.