Four Signs a Relationship Is Broken

December 22, 2016

When we start a relationship, at first everything is love, passion, and a desire to spend time together. We desire to learn about the other person because we have the feeling that the more we know, the more we will like them. It is a kind of mystery candy that brings us great satisfaction, something that, combined with physical contact, turns into something extraordinarily pleasing and exciting.

However, time gives way to routine, their flaws, to the need to make a real adjustment in the lives of the two people who are in the relationship so that it can move forward. The time comes when one of the two has to give things up, and giving things up seems to cost much more than it did at first. Do not be alarmed; this is the natural progression of relationships. We can’t maintain the degree of dedication and idealization that exists at the beginning, as it tends to create dependent people.

That said, what are the real signs that should put us on alert about the state of our relationship? Are there indicators that a relationship is falling apart? When do these indicators show up, and is there a solution or is it already too late?

1. Destructive criticism

When there is trust and great love between two people, it is normal for there to be criticism from both sides. In fact, this is a healthy way of getting to know each other better and improving certain aspects of the relationship that we were unaware of before. However, there is one kind of criticism that is much more painful and that is used to harm the other person. This is what is called destructive criticism.

Everyone makes mistakes, but when our partner resorts to this kind of criticism to attack us or hurt our feelings, this might mean that this person no longer feels the way we do. A clear example of this can be saying, “You’re so late, you must not care about me the way you used to.” This is a low blow in any situation.

What can be done in this situation? Well, propose an immediate plan where he or she is involved. In this way, you will re-establish contact, you can do things together, and you can talk about your problems.

2. Contempt

When there is contempt from one or from both sides, displayed on a regular basis, we can say that the relationship will not go in a good direction. Contempt can take the shape of sarcasm, insults, or mimicking. In any of these forms, it will cause the other person to feel like they are less valued.

What can be done in this situation? Well, there is no other option than to start over building mutual respect and emphasizing the good things that we like about the relationship, like for example, “You look so good with your long hair” or “I love it when you make me laugh.” In this way you will create much stronger affectionate bonds.

3. Being defensive 

When a person does something wrong, it is very common for them to justify their actions with those of others, being defensive. As we said, this is normal. However, if they turn to this method too often, it can also mean that our partner has stopped loving us as much. This tends to happen a lot as a cover-up for infidelity, thereby making the unfaithful one feel less guilty about their “slip-up.”

What can be done in this situation? When a problem arises and our partner is being defensive, the best thing is to try to find a solution involving both of you and to leave behind pride and reproaches.

4. Stonewalling 

This is one of the final factors that appears when the relationship is on its last leg. Stonewalling can take on multiple forms. There is barely any communication, you have fallen into a routine, you do not share the same hobbies…

This shows up after a long period of crisis, bad vibes, or when there has been an irreconcilable problem between the two. After this, the relationship most often ends in a breakup.

What can be done in this situation? If you really care about your partner…then act! Talk as soon as you can with them and have a conversation about how you can revamp the relationship. Be short, sweet, and to the point, and listen to what they do not like about you and vice-versa. Try to come to an agreement that, if it works, will leave your relationship much stronger than it was.

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