Finding Love Means Finding Yourself

· May 29, 2017

Many women long to find love in their lives, but they ignore the fact that in order to find it, they must find themselves first. The book Hungry for Love by Ana Moreno discusses this topic, as will we in the following article.

As a woman, I ask you: why do you need a partner? To complete a part of you that you think you’re missing? To fill a void? Because you’re afraid of being alone? Why do you feel helpless when you’re single? If you don’t already know already, I’m going to tell you that having a partner won’t solve any of your problems. It might even make them worse.

Presenting a relationship as a form of co-dependence will only lead to emotional failure. You can only have a healthy relationship if it’s a conscious relationship.

“Relationships aren’t supposed to make us happy, they’re supposed to make us aware.”

-Raimon Samsó-

True love comes from within you

Women need to feel loved, but true love comes from within you. A woman who loves herself will radiate and receive love. Think about it: you can’t attract something to your life if you don’t already have it.

“The real way to find love is to know that you’re made of love, and to choose to share it with the whole world without expectations.”

-Ana Moreno-


flowers on woman's chest

If you don’t feel like you’re made of love, you’ll think that you need someone else to complete you, but in doing so, you’ll become possessive of other person, because you’ll feel like you’re nothing without them. But this is selfish, and love and selfishness are not compatible.

It’s even more important to recognize that whatever you do attract is whatever you have to offer. If you try to be someone you’re not, you won’t find an authentic person. If you don’t show true love and respect for yourself, you’ll find someone who doesn’t love or respect themselves, or you either.

“Finding love doesn’t mean finding another person, but rather finding yourself, because you are love. When you accept that you already have love within you, then love will manifest in your life, of the same quality and intensity that you have within you.”

-Ana Moreno-

It’s never too late to find yourself

Even if you haven’t found a partner, or if you’re not satisfied with the relationship you’re in, it’s never too late to find yourself, to start cultivating the love within you, rather than looking for it elsewhere. For Ana Moreno, it’s as simple as acting with love, honesty, and appreciation; sharing what you have to offer; and giving yourself to others.

The greatest thing about this way of understanding love is that you don’t need anyone else to feel whole. You won’t depend on finding love, on how other people see you, or on how other people react based on their own needs and dependencies. This all involves completing an important exercise in self-esteem, personal growth, and the discovery of your own values, because you can only love yourself when you know who you are.

“The better you get along with yourself, the better your life will be. It doesn’t matter how other people see you.”

-Ana Moreno-

You don’t need anyone to complete you

You are enough. You don’t need anyone to complete you. Your partner can help you be a better version of yourself and bring out the best in you. You can build a life together and grow together. But if you depend on your partner and/or your partner depends on you, you’ll only drag each other down.

heart lock

Love won’t come to your life from anyone else. You will attract it when it rises within you.

Knowing yourself is enough to create love in your life. You’ll avoid wasting your effort on useless actions like trying to please others or acting according to their wishes and desires. Trying to be someone else won’t make you or anyone else happy, even if it seems that way. Always remember that if your priority is to make the other person happy, without thinking about your own needs, you’ll end up feeling emptier and more incomplete.

Personal Growth to Strengthen Your Self-Esteem