Even the strongest of personalities gets tired of being hurt, boycotted or manipulated. Because a strong heart isn’t a cold heart, or much less is it immune to the sea of self-involved love or caring. We all have limits. However, the types of personalities that are used to “resisting” are the ones who suffer the most. They are the ones that take the longest to react.
Something that is often misunderstood is that an emotionally strong person is someone who knows how to control their feelings. Nowadays, despite the ease with which we use term “Emotional Intelligence”, we still maintain mistaken ideas. For example, thinking that emotions are the opposite of reason and logic.
“A heart is a wealth that cannot be sold or bought: it is gifted.”
When we picture a strong heart, we almost immediately think of someone safeguarded behind thick armor. Someone who keeps a cool head and a firm stare in order to keep that complex world at bay. An oftentimes hurtful and demanding world, that universe of affection and feelings. However, a strong personality doesn’t always present this type of psychological architecture.
These are men and women who are used to shutting up their needs in order to become the image of strength. Thus, they become a constant and everlasting light or beacon for others. However, what they at many times receive in exchange is bitterness, egocentrism and solitude.
Simple advice for people tired of being strong
Let’s picture a treadmill for a second. Someone with the need to be strong is accustomed to keeping a certain speed and level of demand that is usually very elevated. They feel proud of themselves. Their heart is very strong, and they think they’ll be able to keep this pace up for the rest of their lives.
“You can only see with the heart, what’s essential is invisible to the eyes.”
-Antoine de Saint Exupéry-
However, sooner or later, the cramps, pain and exhaustion kick in. The treadmill keeps moving at the same speed, the people around them maintain the same level of demands and exigency without noticing the state of their partner, family member, spouse or friend. However, our protagonist has reached their limit and doesn’t know how to stop the treadmill, that destructive spiral.
What should we do in this case? Slow down, reduce our speed? Not at all. The most appropriate thing to do in that situation would be to stop. Our heart needs to recover.
The time has come to take care of yourself
You don’t need a pause or a break along the way. You need to be strong for yourself and not just for others. For that, you need to make some changes, refocus your vital and everyday crossroads in a more harmonious, consequent and healthy way.
Stop and think about the following proposals for a second:
- Renounce conflicts, problems or situations that have no solution. You have already lost so much time and energy in things and people that aren’t worth your while.
- Don’t wait for people to behave as you would. It is an unbearable source of frustration.
- Start becoming aware of your needs. Listen to them every day and prioritize them.
Remember, above all, that you are no hero. Your function is not to make the impossible possible. You are not a magician or a bridge architect for places that don’t even have shores to build upon. Nor can you save the not salvageable. Nor can you give happiness to someone that knows not of joys, respect or reciprocity.