The wider the repertoire of emotional caresses that we dedicate to others and which, in turn, we receive from them, the more rich and skilled our coexistence will be. However, in this society, so indoctrinated in modern knowledge, we are losing touch with our ability to connect with others with a simple glance. We can no longer make verbal reinforcements or offer a just word at the right moment. Now, emoticons are our biggest conversational reinforcements, which we sometimes rely on excessively.
We should be able to develop an emotional language to show acknowledgement, reciprocity, empathy and respect. Children, for example, don’t only need emotional caresses from their family. The school and their educators should also be intuitive in this type of reinforcement which halts common dimensions such as frustration, isolation or insecurity.
Likewise, organizations and companies should also be able to create more favorable climates of acknowledgement and value towards employees, at the end of the day, encourages creativity and productivity.
Caressing yourself, caressing others
Emotional caresses should flow between us like a warm breeze that blows around on a summer afternoon. In tranquility, illuminating whoever might need it, lifting up he who has fallen, drawing smiles on the faces of people who not long ago felt only bitterness.
Claude Steiner, author of the well-known book “Emotional Education”, addressed an aspect that is worth keeping in mind. There are people who don’t know how to offer emotional caresses. Furthermore, there are also those who quite simply believe they don’t deserve them. These are people that, at a given time, and due to whatever reason, stopped caressing themselves. That is to say, they stopped valuing themselves, stopped feeding their self-esteem.
This type of behavior fits into what’s known as “the law of scarcity”. That is to say: don’t ask for positive caresses and don’t reject negative caresses. In reality, we should all live in that opposite world governed by “the law of abundance”:
Offer positive caresses.
Also, accept them.
Be capable of asking for positive caresses.
Be capable of rejecting negative ones.
The art of knowing how to put emotional caresses into practice
Emotional caresses are, above all else, the craftsmanship of valuation. Valuing someone is showing them that “You exist to me, you are important”.
That reinforcement manifested through a compliment, a thank you or even through a consolation, favors the validation of that person’s self-esteem . It also favors their cooperation in society. Therefore, we all win.
However, and this is good to know, emotional caresses have a dark side. Here, we’re no longer talking about art, but instead aggression. It would be represented by the following actions:
Using emotional caresses as a form of psychological manipulation.
Making use of hypocrisy as a tool to exert power or achieve a certain objective.
However, and to put your minds at ease, human beings have many more positive behaviors than negative ones. Because, at the end of the day, that’s how we survive as a species: offering affection , tenderness, attention, consideration…Thus, it’s always good to remember what the principles and benefits of emotional caresses are:
Emotional caresses can be offered at any moment, place or time.
They are cheap, easy to offer and produce great side effects.
They are above social classes, age, gender and race. It is a universal currency.
They are the best antidote against fear, frustration, doubt and any other psychological problem.
Emotional caresses promote good mental and emotional health and well-being. Without a doubt, they are the best food for the soul.