Low Self Worth - Do You Ever Feel Like You Aren't Worth It?
If you don’t value yourself, perhaps it is because you don’t know the negative affects of this act of injustice. This situation can be terrible, but as Laura Restrepo wisely said, “We shouldn’t underestimate the fidelity that everyone has to their old pains.”
Remember that you are not the only one who pays for undervaluing yourself. Everyone around you, starting with your children, partner, family members, and friends, will suffer from your lack of self-esteem. The fact that you do not value yourself will make you feel small, when in reality you have abilities you are ignoring.
Knowing you are enough
It is difficult to have a realistic image of ourselves, just as it is difficult to know which challenges we can overcome and which we cannot. Sometimes we fail and sometimes we succeed. This makes us lose sight of our true value.
When we don’t value ourselves enough, we adopt unconscious actions that hurt us. Think about it. Are you present in your life? Do you have a realistic idea of how much you are worth? Do you judge yourself fairly?
With these questions in mind, let’s look at the teachings of psychologist Xavier Molina.
Automatic behaviors that indicate low self-worth
Excess modesty
One key characteristic of people with low self-esteem is an excess of modesty. Does this mean it’s bad to be humble? Of course not. What it means is that there are negative connotations when it is excessive. Then, it signals insecurity.
What can you do if you find yourself in this category? Learn to accept compliments. If someone says something nice to you, remember that you deserve it. Yes humility is a wonderful virtue, but an excess of it can lead to low self-esteem, especially if it causes you to ignore the compliments you deserve.
You pay more attention to the opinions of others
We can’t forget that the everyone in the world has an opinion on everything. However, often these opinions don’t come from a strict process of thought and analysis. This is not to say that the opinions of others shouldn’t matter or that they can’t hurt you. However, you should keep in mind that they are not always worth worrying about.
If we make the opinions of others too important, we may lower our self-esteem. Insecure people value the opinions of others more than their own. We shouldn’t make ourselves so vulnerable to what others say. Their opinions aren’t more valid than our own.
You put others before yourself
It isn’t bad to think of the well-being of others. Putting their well-being before your own can be an honorable and altruistic act. However, to do so constantly is a clear sign of low self-esteem. Why do you think the happiness of others is more important than your own?
Does it make sense to make others happy at your expense? If you aren’t a happy person, how can you make others happy? If you don’t know what it’s like to feel good, you can only convey unhappiness and dissatisfaction. If someone would rather you sacrifice your happiness in order to make them happy, you should rethink the relationship.
“There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.’
You always feel like the target of ridicule
Someone who is insecure and has low self-esteem will always feel as if others are making fun of them. Comments, looks, and gestures can all be misinterpreted, provoking anxiety.
Don’t think that everyone around you is focused on you. To someone with high self-esteem, the attitudes of others, real or imaginary, are not important. We shouldn’t depend on others liking us to feel happy.
You doubt your abilities
If you believe you can’t do something, you won’t be able to do it. Your own thinking is your worst enemy. You aren’t aware of the abilities and skills you actually have.
Don’t be defeatist. You have enormous capabilities and possibility and you can do whatever you set your mind to. Keep your feet on the ground. Be realistic, but don’t doubt how much you can achieve.
Step out of your comfort zone
Our comfort zones are truly comfortable, we can’t deny that. An existence that is grey, routine, and repetitive feels safe. We avoid leaving our comfort zones out of fear of failure. We always think of the negative, believe any change will make us worse off.
This is also a sign of low self-esteem. If we get stuck in our comfort zone and convince ourselves that it is for the best, we will end up believing it. However, there are ways to value ourselves more and adventure outside our comfort zone.
“There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance — that principle is contempt prior to investigation.”
–Herbert Spencer
As we all know, underestimating yourself makes you miss out on many opportunities. Security and personal realization should be your goals. Only from there can we be happy and make others happy.