The Dangers of the Chameleon Personality
Many of us know someone like her. She’s sweet, she’s submissive, and she lets her partner make all the decisions. Not only the most important ones but also the smallest ones, such as what to put on the shopping list. By doing this, her partner has become her guide. She blindly follows him without hesitation and without a second thought. This woman has a chameleon personality.
Those with a chameleon personality conceive relationships in an unequal way. They believe that one partner has to give the orders while the other should submit. Those who have this type of personality feel lost when they’re with a partner who says “But I want to know what you think” or “You need to have your own opinion“.
Today, we’re going to look at Samantha’s story. Through it, we’ll discover what having a relationship is like for someone with a chameleon personality. We’ll see what advantages they get from this and also what they miss out on.
Samantha: A woman with a chameleon personality
Since her childhood, Samantha was always a very hesitant and indecisive girl. So much so that she found herself being with two men at the same time but not being able to choose either of them. However, something caught her attention. She was able be a different person depending on who she was with.
Angel, her lover, was a football and extreme sports fan. So, because of that, Samantha became a passionate soccer fan and an adrenaline junkie. However, Ricardo, her husband, was a serious, elegant lawyer. When she was with him, she behaved elegantly and had impeccable manners.
Samantha felt disturbed by the way she changed so much depending on who she was with. However, she felt unable to break up with either her lover or her husband. However, one day everything changed. Samantha caught Ricardo in bed with a woman who was her opposite in every way. She was also completely different from Ricardo since she was wild and vivacious.
What Samantha did
She was shattered by this discovery and fear filled her life. Samantha didn’t break things off with Ricardo. Instead, she changed the way she behaved. She became passionate and daring in an attempt to offer him what she thought he wanted. Due to this attitude change, Ricardo began to believe that she was cheating on him.
On the other hand, she began to behave in a more elegant way with Angel. She was looking for stability and something more serious. However, Angel got bored and began to focus on other girls.
Samantha behaved in the only way she knew how in order to make her relationships work. However, in this case, her chameleon personality betrayed her. Her world had turned upside down, which is why she swapped roles in these two relationships in order to try to fix everything. But it didn’t work.
Samantha had adapted to her partners’ personalities. However, after what happened and her subsequent behavior changes, both of her relationships fell apart. Samantha didn’t understand what happened. Her sudden behavior changes made her relationships fail.
Adapting to your partner’s lifestyle
As we’ve seen with Samantha’s story, those with chameleon personalities always adapt to their partner’s lifestyle and to their tastes. In short, they hide who they truly are in order to be what the other person expects from them. However, this has advantages and disadvantages.
The advantage is that you get a partner you can share everything with. You do the same activities, think in the same way, and understand each other perfectly. In addition to that, as you leave all the decision-making to your partner, you always get along great!
The disadvantage is that a person with this personality will always show a tendency to please and submit to the other person. They’ll never show initiative and will simply just agree with their partner on everything.
This just ends up gnawing away at the relationship and tiring out the other partner very quickly. If they always think the same things and never have different tastes or ideas, then it’s highly likely that the relationship will lose its spark.
People with chameleon personalities are so adaptive that they completely eliminate any element of surprise and spontaneity in a relationship.
The fact is that a couple doesn’t have to have the same tastes nor feel attracted to the same activities. And they certainly don’t have to change what they’re like for their partner. The best thing you can do in a relationship is be yourself. If you do that and realize that you aren’t compatible, then it’s best to simply part ways.
People with chameleon personalities seem to want to find a clone. The thought of breaking up with that person or being without them frightens them to death. So, as a result, they just adapt and mold themselves to the other person. However, as we’ve seen, this ends up taking a toll on the relationship.
Being yourself and having a healthy self-esteem is very important on both a personal and relationship level. If you don’t know how to protect your personality and just sell it to the highest “bidder”, then your insecurities will be your downfall. Be yourself and you’ll discover the richness of relationships where opposites often attract!