Four Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship

Building trust is an art. It has to survive in the imperfect world in which we live. In this article, we take a look at its construction.

Reviewed and approved by the psychologist Cristian Muñoz Escobar.

Written by Cristian Muñoz Escobar

Last update: 21 December, 2022

Trust is the foundation of any healthy bond, For instance, without it, assertive communication is complicated. However, knowing how to build trust takes time. Certain aspects need strengthening, whether the trust concerns your relationships with others or the love you have for yourself. Trust could also be defined as the expectation of what’ll happen will happen.

We’re social beings and we need trust to enrich our emotional world. There are several ways to create it in a relationship.

The feelings of security and the vital force that trust gives you are extraordinary when you deposit it in someone worthy. That’s because you can count on them to take care of your interests. That said, the obvious disadvantage is that if it’s broken, surprise, disappointment, and suffering will be inevitable.

To build trust with your family, partner, friends, and other loved ones, unconditional reciprocity is necessary, where the respect and security that you deposit in the other prevails.

How to build trust in interpersonal relationships

As we’ve already mentioned, trust is crucial if you want to have concrete and secure links with others. Sometimes, it develops at the beginning of a relationship and is later consolidated. On other occasions, time, spontaneity, and patience are required to consolidate relationships and enjoy their benefits.

Here are four ways to build trust in a relationship.

1. Reciprocity, a balance between giving and receiving

Reciprocity goes hand in hand with trust. It’s mutual giving and receiving, an action that motivates the parties involved to correspond bilaterally without interest or selfishness. Therefore, it’s also related to the principles of solidarity, cooperation, and mutual aid. In genuine relationships, reciprocity is presented as the balance between giving and receiving. It doesn’t matter to either party that one of them might do more favors than the other.

In order to build trust in a relationship, the balance of reciprocity must be spontaneous, never planned. Thanks to this balance, you don’t have to repress yourself when giving or receiving, nor should you try and change how others do so.

2. Don’t promise anything, your actions must be a guarantee of trust

Don’t make promises just to be trusted and show that you’re trustworthy. For example, it’s useless to say what you feel to a person you like if you later regret it or aren’t consistent. Why borrow money when, deep down, you know you’ll never repay.

If you want to build or increase trust in any type of relationship, it’s absolutely necessary that you don’t ever promise what you won’t deliver.

3. Express your feelings and thoughts, depending on the type of relationship

It’s not the same to trust that your colleague will arrive first thing in the morning to participate in an important meeting, as trusting that your partner will organize to take the children to school so that you can be at the office a little earlier.

The best paradigm of trust is vulnerability. It contains emotional intimacy which you must expose and communicate to those you trust. However, trusting others also maximizes your risk of being hurt, so be careful who you choose to trust.

The problem doesn’t lie in exposing your vulnerability to whoever you consider worthy. In fact, it’s their responsibility to guard it, along with your trust and if they fail to so do, they’re simply not worth it.

Try not to silence your feelings as unspoken words can make you sick. If you’re just getting to know someone and they’re gradually gaining your trust, give them the opportunity to meet your true self and allow them to be worthy of your trust (not forgetting that you should also be worthy of theirs), in accordance with the rhythm of your relationship.

4. Doubt exists in trust

Having relationships with people who you often use as a point of reference doesn’t make them an oracle of Delphi. Indeed, it’s perfectly valid to doubt them at times and consult other sources. You certainly shouldn’t view these types of decisions as a betrayal of trust.

For example, if someone asks you a question that you know how to answer, you reply. However, if your answer doesn’t put an end to their doubts, they can look for other sources to provide them with more information. This doesn’t necessarily mean that they doubt your knowledge. They may simply be aware of your subjectivity and want to form their own opinion. Or, perhaps they want to obtain more arguments to defend the opinion you’ve given if they need extra support.

The fact that a person you trust made a mistake in resolving some of your doubts doesn’t mean that from now on you should be distrustful of them. After all, we’re all vulnerable to error, but we have the ability to recognize it and, in most cases, rectify it.

If you’re in this kind of situation and they don’t want to give you any more chances, be patient and allow your actions to speak for you. You’ll soon show them that you’re trustworthy.