Is It Better to Sleep Together or Separately?

· June 27, 2017

When you start a relationship and you’re a romantic, the idea of being apart is difficult to handle. After all, you already have mandatory daytime separation for work reasons. Thinking that you’re also  going to sleep apart is an unbearable idea.

There’s a popular belief that couples who sleep separately have marital problems. In certain cases, this is true. When you have an argument with your partner, the last think you want to do is sleep with him. You don’t even want him to touch you. Some couples erroneously think that this is a good way to solve problems.

Believe it or not, the habit of sleeping together in the same bed first became popular during the industrial revolution. The lack of space in cities led to building smaller houses to save space. In ancient Rome and Greece, it was actually customary to have separate sleeping spaces and a separate room for sexual encounters.

Sleeping apart helps you to have a better relationship

Studies done by sleep professionals such as Dr. Stivill and Dr. Stanley at the American Academy of Sleep Medicine found that it’s not only better for your heath to sleep in separate beds, but in separate rooms.


According to experts, half of couples who sleep together have sleep problems. If your partner snores, moves a lot or gets up in the middle of the night, you wake up. Naturally, this interrupts your rest. This takes a toll on you both physically and psychologically: it can lead to sadness, mood swings, a lack of concentration and even weight gain.

Sleeping in another room helps to not only improve your comfort and rest, but also to keep your personal space. It even encourages sexual relations with your partner. Being separated at night favors the existence of an erotic space in which you miss the other person. Thus, it increases your desire to be together.

If you’re a woman, it affects you more

A 2005 study by the US National Sleep Foundation revealed that women experience more difficulty sleeping or maintaining sleep due to circumstances that come from hormonal changes. Menstrual cycles, daily worries, stress and menopause can all cause you to wake up at night, move a lot in bed, or sleep poorly.

In a 2014 interview with Dr. Estivill, he estimated that between 40 and 50% of Spaniards had sleep problems due to stress, emotional crises and poor habits.

Sleep in separate rooms, a more harmonious coexistence

Having not only separate beds but separate rooms is a good decision to maintain your relationship and help it grow. The mature and consensual decision to try sleeping apart is a way of respecting the other person, their privacy, their space and their personal growth.

If you’re a very romantic person and are horrified by the idea of spending the night alone, an intermediate solution could be to sleep in the same room with separate beds. On the other hand, you could also try sleeping in the same bed but with separate sheets. Overall, this is a good way to sleep together but still comfortably if your partner moves a lot and invades your space.

A decision based on mature, joint reflection will strengthen your relationship

Many fights, breakups and even divorces are indirectly related to one of the partner not being able to rest well. Not sleeping well affects your health. Thus, it can cause problems with pessimism, anxiety, exhaustion, premature aging and lack of concentration.

Sleeping separately may seem unromantic, but it’s a conscious and mature decision for the health and well-being of both partners.

At least, that’s what the science says…what do you think?