Believing in Ourselves Is a Matter of Will

Believing in Ourselves Is a Matter of Will
Valeria Sabater

Written and verified by the psychologist Valeria Sabater.

Last update: 15 November, 2021

If you don’t do it, nobody will. Believing in oneself is not a matter of pride but of dignity. We need it to trust our own decisions, not be afraid of getting things wrong, and pick ourselves up again every time we fall. To believe in ourselves is to love ourselves with courage, knowing that we deserve better.

Maybe “believe in yourself” just reminds you of self-help books. However, these three words are popular for a reason. The reason is that it is very difficult for a human to trust in his own abilities and reach his potential.

“It’s never too late to be what you could have been.”

-George Eliiot-

If this is the case, it’s primarily because of how we build our internal reality. Starting when we’re children, we mold our self-image based on the stimuli we receive and how we interpret them. Depending on what others tell us or project to us, our identity will be strong or weak.

Believing in ourselves is not easy, and our surroundings don’t help. Relying on our abilities is not easy when we focus more on our failures than overcoming them. Projecting a strong, courageous sense of identity is hard if we’ve been taught to focus much more on what others do, say and think than what we do.

Believe in ourselves, girl hugging heart

We must believe in ourselves

We’re so unaware of our own thoughts, attitudes, and reasoning. But they make up who we are. They either limit us or empower us. They are what ultimately influence how we feel and behave.

The art of believing in oneself is truly an exercise of will. The will is almost like a muscle, exercised with certain thoughts, and aimed at well-being and personal growth. However, and we know this well, it isn’t easy to think positively and confidently when we have low self-esteem and our lives are full of apathy and frustration.

It seems like our parents and schools forgot to teach us to believe in ourselves. They taught us instead to be like everyone else. They taught us that “being normal” is doing, thinking and behaving the same as those around us.

We’re supposed to dilute our individuality and make ourselves “ordinary”, nothing special. The reason for this is that, sometimes, being unique means being different. And being “different” doesn’t sit well. It is disharmony in a world that adores predictability.

Man with broken paper

However, it’s time to remember something that’s actually quite elementary. We are not made on an assembly line; we are completely unique: exceptional and unrepeatable. Created with unique fingerprints, our own individual personality, and different physical features than anyone else. We are born to leave our mark on this world and we can only do that if we believe in ourselves and our own potential.

The psychology of the will: believing is power

Believing in oneself is something we should be practicing. No one should leave their house in the morning without self-confidence and the conviction that he can do anything. Looking at it from the psychology of the will, here are some tips for doing exactly that:

Starting with a clean slate

We do it with our devices and gadgets. There’s nothing like resetting a cell phone or a computer to make it work faster and more effectively. However, first we have to know which files to keep and which to delete.

To believe in ourselves, we have to get rid of certain inherited attitudes. We are often our own worst enemies, underestimating ourselves and comparing ourselves with others. Let’s delete those unhelpful perspectives and start with a clean slate.

We move mountains by carrying the small stones first

To achieve an objective, we must believe in ourselves. However, the psychology of the will reminds us that, as Confucius said, great feats are attained by first achieving small victories.

Therefore before we set unreachable goals, let’s work on small, daily challenges. They’ll give us self-confidence and a more positive self-image. Let’s dare to make difficult decisions. It’s time to step out of our comfort zones. Let’s face our insecurities slowly but surely.

Girl with rucksack

Wherever you go, always be yourself

If you want to believe in yourself, be yourself. Wherever you go, don’t lose your essence, don’t forget your values and passions. Let your essence guide each step. Don’t be afraid of what others may think. Being yourself all the time, no matter where you are, is not always easy. We need to exercise our will with daily effort. Only then can we become self-confident and self-assured.

To conclude, although we can never control what life will throw at us, what we can control is how we react to it. If we believe in ourselves, the difficulties will be easier to cope with and the mountains won’t be as high. It’s something to think about…

Principal image courtesy of Dimitra Milan

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.