Avoid Raising Capricious Children, Without the Trauma

November 23, 2016

The celebrated playwright and British novelist Oscar Wilde affirmed the following quote. “The best way to make children good is to make them happy”. Does that mean that you have to succumb to their every petition? Do you have to shield them at all costs from any trauma? No. This would bring about capriciousness, which is something very different from happiness.

Up next, we will give you some clues that could be useful in preventing your little ones from becoming capricious and tyrannical children. Don’t forget that there is no worse trauma than a childhood packed with gifts and handouts. This will set the child or adolescent on a road towards a frustrated and frustrating maturity.

Before we continue, it’s important to add that capricious children, with their constant demands, are not going to be any easier to deal with if their parents yield whenever they ask. In fact, this act only degenerates into little ones being incapable of controlling their behavior. They will learn that in the end, anything goes in order to get what they want. They only have to insist a little bit longer and harder.

However, a correct education, focused towards a more reflective attitude and with clear limits, promotes a healthier development. It also keeps relationships with people outside of the family circle from being harmed by selfish behaviors or demands. Finally, a good upbringing will give the child confidence, making them more self-sufficient and aware of their real needs.

“What is given to children, they will then give to society.”
-Karl A. Menninger-

How to identify capricious children

Have you thought that your children might be capricious? There is a set of activities and aptitudes that are very distinguishable. These show little tyrants in training. They will be easy for you to spot:

  • Capricious children are actually incapable of satisfying their desires. They are so egocentric that everything revolves around them. They don’t know how to appreciate the true value of what they receive. They simply want something, and they must get it immediately. But they don’t truly obtain any form of pleasure from it. Once they get it, they immediately seek out a new whim.
  • Capricious children go from one tantrum to another. They don’t hesitate to alter the order of things when they encounter resistance about what they want. That is their tactic to achieve something, and when they know it works, they resort to it with ease.
angry-little-girl-crying

  • Capricious children doesn’t take care of their toys. They don’t value other people and are totally disorganized and careless. They are incapable of focusing and get bored or tired of something as soon as they get it. They tend to be very undisciplined.

If you have noticed any of these symptoms in your little ones, or maybe you have seen all of them, it is best if you get to work as soon as possible, because your child is on thin ice. And if the problem persists, it could become chronic.

How to avoid traumas in children

Trauma is actually something inherent to life. We can’t attempt to make sure our kids don’t suffer, because this is impossible. However, it is within our control to offer them a good education in order to overcome their problems with security.

Concepcion Arenal said that “Except on rare occasions, a criminal man was once an unhappy child, who lacked good role models and caresses”. You have the wrong idea, if you think that you are doing your little one a favor by making all of their wishes come true.

Nevertheless, you also don’t have to seek out unnecessary trauma or to be excessively tough or strict. You simply have to use your common sense. You have to be sincere, knowing how far you can go during each phase your child goes through:

  • Capricious children will find themselves in a world with rules and limits that they have to follow. No parent can prevent this. Thus, the sooner they become aware that rules are a part of their life, the better they will understand these rules as they grow up. It is not at all traumatic, you simply have to implement routines in which the little one feels safe.
  • In young children, distractions can be a good tool. It is normal that you know your child well enough to see it coming when they have some new whim. If you’re able to distract their attention at the right moment, you’ll prevent bigger problems from arising. But, this requires constant attention and observation.
  • Your child needs to understand the concept of exceptions. It is normal for a family member to be more permissive with the child. However, the parents should make them understand that this is not a usual thing. These are occasional situations that make up part of their world, but not of their routine.
father-and-son-in-a-field-of-grass

  • You shouldn’t forget that sometimes capricious children are simply seeking more attention. If this is the problem, it could be a big and serious one. Thus, if you truly want to prevent a bad upbringing from leaving a dent in your child, make sure that you are dedicating them all of the time and love they need. To them, there is nothing greater than spending some time playing with their parents.

It is a complicated task, preventing the upbringing of capricious children, and it requires patience. Children are experts and constant negotiators that without a doubt will put your patience to the test. However, parents should be clear on the fact that children have to internalize rules in a gradual way, since this is an indispensable part of their later coexistence in society.