How to Avoid the Effects of a Toxic Companion

December 7, 2016

Psychologist Rafael Santandreu says, “It is not a bad idea to break away from immature people who sustain a wrong system of values. It is a way to combat those trap values in our society and avoid their influence.” So then, is it really easy to avoid the effects of a toxic companion?

Obviously it is not easy to avoid the effects of a toxic companion. However, it is also not impossible. We just have to know how to do it and have enough mental and moral strength for it. It is an act that will have work to your benefit and for you psychological health.

We must not forget that being able to avoid a toxic companion, be this at work, in our studies, and even if you share an apartment, will have a positive effect on your motivation, your sense of humor, and, in short, your daily life.

“Disturbing emotions and toxic relationships have been identified as risk factors in disease.”

-Daniel Goleman-

Identifying a toxic companion

Maybe you have a good job but you are not able to motivate yourself. You also do not end up feeling all the comfort that you need in order to be productive and feel good. You notice that something is not right, though you do not see anything special that could cause this situation. It is very possible that you have a toxic companion.

A toxic companion is characterized by creating a very bad environment around them, be this a personal or work environment. They fill everything around them with negativity. If you are experiencing a similar situation, the most important thing is to identify the person in question. For this, observe your surroundings and look for:

  • Overly gossipy people who are more worried about what others are doing. Toxic companions tend to avoid compromises and lack valid, valuable goals.
  • If you notice that there is someone jealous around you who undervalues the success of others and only seeks their own personal benefit through shortcuts that are not really worthy of praise, you are dealing with a toxic companion.

“Do not give value to the opinion of toxic people; be free from critics and you will be free of every one of their words and actions. Do not idealize. Do not expect anything from anyone”

-Bernardo Stamateas-

Brainwashing Language

  • Playing the victim and lacking the ability to assume responsibility are also clear examples of a toxic companion. Run away from conspiracy theories.
  • Excess control of an individual tends to show a manipulating character that often seeks personalities with low self-esteem to deal with the situations that come up.
  • If you run into a person who always complains about everything and tries to find people they can pass their negativity on to, try to distance yourself.
  • Arrogance also tends to be an important part of a toxic companion’s personality. Their self-esteem is artificially inflated to hide their weaknesses and try to always look like they are on top of things, pointing out other people’s insecurities.

Keys to avoid a toxic companion

Now that we have been able to identify a toxic companion comes the complicated part, because they are not people who are easy to distance yourself from. We must not forget that toxic companions need to feed on the weakness of those who surround them, as it is their erroneous way of overcoming their fears and insecurities.

Set limits

According to the toxic companion’s personality, you have to identify their strategy and deactivate it so that you can set limits. The arrogant companion will try to feel superior to you, the victim will want to tell you each and every misfortunes of their life, the jealous one will undervalue the achievements of everyone around them…

Man Balancing On Other's Long Nose

Reduce contact

Dealing with a toxic person implies that you inevitably run into each other more than once a day. Whether you are students, coworkers, roommates, etc., there will be no way to avoid running into each other from time to time. You can nevertheless limit the contact to the professional minimum, like at meetings, common places, or classes. Try not to let your contact go beyond the cordial.

Ask for help

Unfortunately, we cannot always find a way to avoid contact with a toxic companion by ourselves. There comes a time when we must ask for help. A good friend or mediator can shed light and objectivity on the situation in order to find proper strategies.

Better to be alone than in bad company

Never forget that when you are faced with a toxic companion, it will always be better to spend time alone than with bad company. If a person does not benefit you in any way and you do not feel like they have the slightest interest in improving their attitude, avoid contact at all costs.

A toxic companion is a more common figure than we would like to admit. Moreover, they tend to show up in every kind of environment. However, the more clear and positive our attitude is, the easier it is to identify and avoid them.