7 Habits That Get You Nowhere
We often pick up habits unconsciously. You simply doing things mechanically and you no longer remember why you think in a certain way or why you always do things the same way. You end up believing that it is the only way to think or live, and everything is so obvious for you that you don’t even stop to question it.
Unfortunately, we often pick up those habits based on negative people or experiences. We get used to the black cloud over us, and, of course, reality ends up proving us right. Because when we seek, we increase the probability of finding.
“Remember that your character is the sum total of your habits; it’s the way you habitually act”
In the same way that we acquire habits of thought and behavior that do not get us anywhere, we can also be aware of ourselves and create new points of reference. It is not that easy, and yet it can really improve your quality of life. These are seven of those habits that you have to get rid of to really savor your existence.
1. Criticizing, one of the most harmful habits
Many people show a tendency to spit out negative comments about anyone, any situation, or any reality that they run into. It’s like a chip that is automatically activated and leads us to put down, without any exact reason.
Criticism is valid when it is meant to improve. But if the only intention is to find the bad in everything, without any greater goal than making a remark about the negative, you will eventually end up creating an uncomfortable atmosphere and, of course, making it so that others also see only the negative in you.
2. Passively waiting for “something to happen”
This happens when your response to discomfort is not to look into what you can do, but instead to wait for something outside yourself to happen that will solve the situation. You wait for love to show up, or for someone to offer you a better job, or for a doctor to finally give you a prescription that will cure your migraines, or whatever the case may be.
Deep down, you have a fantasy of being rescued. You see yourself as someone who has nowhere to turn to solve your problems or to go down new paths. With the habit of simply waiting, you manage to let days and days go by, losing valuable time that you can never get back.
3. Turning complaints into a way of life
Maybe without even noticing it, you have built up the idea that complaining is a positive thing. Mistakenly, you believe that lamenting things is a way of proving the value of your efforts, or of showing that you have gone through so many problems and hard times.
Maybe you are looking for a reaction in others and you get into the habit of complaining to gain admiration, approval, or solidarity. But when it comes down to it, all you are getting is the exact opposite. This is a harmful communication pattern that gets old for everyone around you.
4. Acting as if the matter “doesn’t concern you”
Evasion is a very common habit, especially among men, but also in many women. Apparently, you want to “avoid dramatizing” the situation and it is not one on your agenda to focus on problems, no matter how serious they may be. Maybe you call it “not stressing out” and you are even proud of it.
The truth of the matter is that real problems in life cannot be avoided. No matter how much you run, they will always catch up with you. By attempting to ignore them, you feed them and let them grow. No serious problem resolves itself and hiding your head underground does nothing but further complicate things.
5. Consuming, consuming, and more consuming…
Becoming a slave to consumption is a habit that will absolutely lead you to unhappiness. You may end up believing that having an awesome cell phone will make you feel blessed. And maybe that is true…for a few hours. Then you come back to reality and you have to set your eyes on a new whim.
Placing all your wellbeing in objects is just a way to project your inner void on others. We all like to go shopping and to pamper ourselves with a few new buys, but when this takes on the role of betting on your happiness and turns into a habit, we have gone down the wrong path. We only manage to expand the emptiness we feel inside ourselves.
6. Making a habit of staying at home
When we aren’t feeling great, we tend to become passive and not want to move from wherever we are. It is normal for us to need an evening or, at most, a few days to get out of this state. However, when you keep doing the same thing and you make a habit of it, it is time to think about what is happening to you.
The problem is not that you are staying indoors per se. The truth difficulty lies in the fact that with this sort of behavior, you are starting to create a lifestyle that revolves around isolation. Isolation in turn feeds a depressive state and the sensation of being ever more fragile and vulnerable.
7. Rejecting novelty and change
Having overly rigid routines is a way of blocking yourself. If you always do the same thing, it is also certain that your thoughts, feelings, and perceptions will start being invariable. It is as if you were throwing away everything you carry inside.
Changes are always positive so long as they in some way draw you out of your comfort zone. This forces you to activate your inner world to achieve a new adaptation. And under those conditions, it is likely for you to see or experience something that will make you feel alive, that shows you that there are many interesting activities beyond those four walls that you have gotten used to living in.