7 Guidelines for Dealing With Unwanted Loneliness
Loneliness in and of itself is neither good nor bad. It depends on how you go through it and accept it. And we all are — and sometimes we want to be — alone. We need it and it is good for us. However, there are times when solitude is from sadness or abandonment. Being alone for a long time can be very tough because we are social beings.
That’s why today we’ll give you seven guidelines to deal with it in an intelligent way and use it to help you grow as a person. Read on.
There are several forms of “negative” loneliness. A person may feel helpless, alone, and with little prospect of the situation changing. For them, loneliness feels like condemnation: an unwanted situation, punishment that is clearly unfair.
Unwanted loneliness is one of the most negative experiences for a person’s health, both physically and mentally. The concept of loneliness is different from isolation. Dependence is even more different. We could say that they are three different faces of loneliness, and each have their pros and cons.
What are the usual forms of loneliness?
First, it can mean being away from crowds, the busyness and noise of life… This kind of solitude is necessary for us to “feed ourselves”, to pray, write or concentrate.
We need this kind of loneliness. If we manage it intelligently, it can bring us great benefits. However, many times we don’t choose loneliness; it’s imposed on us. If it’s imposed, we may feel so lonely that even surrounded by people we feel completely alone.
Tragic psychological loneliness
Psychological loneliness is perhaps the most terrible kind of loneliness. It can turn into a pathology and even end in suicide. Loneliness can also come from feeling like you don’t have any deep relationships. Maybe you don’t have true friends or family you trust.
People can also be predisposed to loneliness. There are studies that reveal that it’s increasing common as we approach forty years old. It culminates when the children leave home and retirement begins. When children leave the house, “empty nest syndrome” may come. It doesn’t have to be bad though; we can take advantage of it.
There is another type of loneliness that happens, usually in old age, when we lose independence and we have difficulty getting around. However, if we know how to accept it and make it work, it can enrich us.
7 guidelines for dealing with loneliness
Organize your life differently
Organize your life according to your current state (single, widowed, retired, without children, etc.). Get rid of stressful routines you used to have as a homemaker or employee if that’s not you anymore. It is time to update your routine.
Stick to set times for going to bed and getting up. Try to not let your life fall into “anarchy.” A schedule can give you a great sense of security. On days you don’t have to get up early, don’t stay in bed. You’ll only feel more blue if your body is not on a schedule.
Always eat at the same time
If possible, always eat at the same time. Have dinner every night, even if it’s small. Don’t fall into the trap of eating only when you’re hungry, or eating without control. You’ll notice it in your physical health and state of mind. Disorder generates more disorder, and it can turn into anxiety.
Try to set the pace yourself
Do not let yourself be carried away by your mood at the moment. “I’m bored, I don’t feel like taking a shower and getting dressed… I’m just going to lie on the couch all day waiting for a call or a visit that never comes.” Look at your to-do list and make something out of your day!
Do rewarding activities
Do you have a garden? Get out there in the dirt. If you have a yard, take care of it; there’s always something to do. If not, get indoor plants and take care of them. You can also clean the house, organize, do the dishes … Doing something that distracts you and keeps you active is good and healthy.
Don’t just “kill time”
We have to find something to fill our time. But we should do something that means something to us, that we enjoy and helps us grow. Don’t complain that you do not have enough money. The rich get bored as well. It’s about looking for something that attracts you and “hooks” you.
Make a change. Modify your habits, add a little risk to your life, go to the movies even if you don’t have someone with you, go out to dinner one day, travel.
The relationship we have with loneliness and solitude depends on us. Living alone does not mean being alone or being lonely. If you are going through a situation like this, we hope these guidelines can help you, even if just a little!