6 Things We Don’t Have to Justify

· April 23, 2016

It’s true that many of our decisions may sometimes raise questions and doubts from the people around us. We’ll always find people who have something to say and judge our attitude and actions.  Over time this can make a dent in our heart and the way we love ourselves.

David William, a psychologist and blogger, after conducting many social studies, thinks that we shouldn’t and aren’t obliged to give explanations. We shouldn’t justify ourselves. Though many of us have been taught in such a way that not doing so can make us feel like we’ve failed.

“If you don’t have inner freedom, what other type of freedom do you expect to have?”
-Arturo Graf-

Up next we’ll mention certain cases when you shouldn’t justify yourself, even though your beliefs or education tells you otherwise. Keep in mind that the only person you should always answer to is yourself, no matter how much others want you to justify yourself to them…

You don’t have to explain your priorities 

Each one of us is unique. Therefore, it’s inevitable that we’ll encounter people who differing tastes or attitudes from ours. You have your own ideas, and you know full well what you need to do to live a good life and be fair with yourself and your surroundings.

We each have different dreams, goals and wishes from everyone else. Learning to empathize and respect is essential when it comes time to not judge something as sacred as our priorities. You are the one who decides and who has the power to choose.


lady by the sea

Don’t apologize for anything that doesn’t cause you grief, you didn’t do wrong or doesn’t move you 

You’re free to feel your own emotions. So if you don’t feel guilty for something that others think you have done, don’t put on a mask that your body will eventually blame you for, for not being yourself. What others think doesn’t matter. It’s your decision, and it’ll change when you decide to.

If you truly feel you don’t need to apologize, why do it? Because others demand it from you? Don’t let others tell you how you should feel or what you should do. Respect yourself and, above all, be loyal to yourself.

The time you spend alone is yours, you don’t have to explain yourself 

It’s true that we still, though we’re mature and emotionally intelligent, often find it hard to say no to dates or gatherings. We want to say no to certain events, because we prefer solitude but we’re scared of seeming pretentious, arrogant or even antisocial.

But we don’t see the importance of having some alone time and allowing that disconnection that silence offers us, that relaxation. Wanting to have some alone time is normal, and it’s necessary in order to have healthy emotional well-being in your daily life.

 

woman smiling

Don’t worry about giving explanations for the time you spend alone and maintain that healthy habit which brings you so much good. You decide how to spend your time. If others don’t understand that, it not your responsibility to explain it to them.

It’s necessary to respect others’ personal beliefs, but you don’t have to accept them 

As I said earlier, empathizing implies respect for and acceptance of those who have a different way of thinking. And the same happens backwards. Human beings share emotions, experiences and beliefs. Everything that makes us “who we are.”

But that doesn’t mean you have to adopt those beliefs and agree with them. But I do urge you to be transparent and not pretend to be okay with it. Sincerity is essential in order to enjoy a healthy relationship. Let them know in a respectful way that you disagree, and if you don’t feel like explaining why, you don’t have to.

Nobody can force you to say yes 

We come into this world with the right to freedom, the right to feel free to make the decisions we see fit and healthy for ourselves. And hence, for the people we love. They say that the most successful people are the ones who have dominated the art of turning down things that aren’t a priority for them, or things they simply don’t want to do.
woman on bike

It’s important to say thank you and be grateful, but don’t be afraid to say no. Respect for oneself is essential and rejecting something you don’t want validates you as a unique and extraordinary being. It helps us mark our own limits and earns us respect.

The path you have chosen in life is sacred, you don’t have to justify this choice to anyone 

A couple of days ago, in one of my sessions, a client asked me to talk about the eternal duality of pleasure vs. work. We live in a system that teaches us that work is only filled with responsibility and headaches. That if we work, we can’t enjoy ourselves or feel alive during our our workday. And we choose to think this way because we think it’s the right thing to think.

But I’d like to ask you, why do you think this way? If you could choose how to think, what would you really want to do? You’re not obligated to explain why you have chosen to dedicate your life to a certain profession.

Remember that you’re the owner of your life. You choose whether to accept criticism and learn from it. But you should never feel bad for something you think is healthy for you. 

Doing what you love makes you who you really are. It gives you wings to touch the best version of yourself. It motivates you to be better and gift it to the world. If people hassle you, use the elegant “no offense, but it’s none of your business.” They have the right to do it or not in their lives, so do you.