5 Tips for Getting Over Romantic Rejection

5 Tips for Getting Over Romantic Rejection
Sergio De Dios González

Written and verified by the psychologist Sergio De Dios González.

Last update: 28 July, 2022

Nobody likes to be rejected. When it comes to love, we put many of our hopes, our emptiness and our traumas out into the open. Therefore, getting over romantic rejection is sometimes not so easy. But it always depends.

The loss of a great love can be devastating if we carry inside the unhealthy seed of feeling abandoned. It can also hurt when our age catches up to us, or if we’re in time in our lives when we’re really vulnerable. If there is cheating or abuse, that can also make getting over romantic rejection very hard.

In spite of everything, there is always a way. Getting up and moving forward is never easy, but it’s not impossible. When tasked with getting over romantic rejection, sometimes it helps to follow some basic advice. Here are some tips that could make this journey easier.



Getting over romantic rejection

1. Getting over romantic rejection by examining your wounds 

The first thing you should do, even if it hurts, is to pull off your improvised bandage and examine the magnitude of your wound. What did you really lose?

It is important that you answer that question with utmost honesty. Sometimes we aren’t losing the love of our life, as we may believe, just illusions and expectations.

It’s also possible that the most painful thing is not the loss itself. Sometimes, our ego hurts more. Perhaps it brought up our old doubts about ourselves, since our self-love is already hurt.

The loss only shows us that reality without anesthesia. For getting over romantic rejection, we must look at what we had invested in that relationship.

2. Express yourself by all possible means

Feelings that are not expressed often turn into pain. Especially when it comes to negative feelings. That’s why we must use all possible channels to let them out.

There are all kinds of ways to do it, not just talking over and over again about what happened. You can write, for example. As much as necessary.

You can paint your pain. You can even dance. Anything that allows you to release those feelings is valid.

3. Refocus

Due to the psychological impact of the loss, you’re probably thinking gloomy thoughts. Without realizing it, you begin to focus only on the most negative aspects of everything. You unwittingly choose the most painful interpretations of the facts and you focus on all the bad things in the world.

But don’t get carried away by it. What you should do is refocus your attention in a more constructive way. Don’t allow pain to invade your whole being, because it won’t get you anything but bitterness.

Strive to bring positive thoughts into your mind. Engage your will in appreciating all the good that still remains. This will be a big help for getting over romantic rejection.


a breakup

4. Free yourself from untrue thoughts

Our culture insists that a loss or failure is totally undesirable. But it has been fully proven that this is not true. First, because such situations are inevitable. All human beings go through failure. And second, because there is no greater opportunity to grow than from difficult experiences.

Romantic rejection is not the end of the world. Despite what soap operas and songs say. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Every ending also marks a beginning. What happens must happen. And it’s always positive, if you want it to be positive.


a man on the road in the night

5. Take advantage of this opportunity to make changes in your life

If you feel you cannot continue living like this, great. It’s time for you to focus on changing. Do not think about the person you lost, think about other aspects of your life.

There’s always something to throw away, there’s always something to start. Concentrate on that.

Nothing is better for overcoming a romantic rejection than to introduce new things to your life. Learning something new is always an excellent choice.

It keeps your mind busy and that raises your eyes up to focus on new horizons. It’s also a great idea to change up your social circles or work on creating new habits.

You must be aware that nothing you do will automatically take away the pain. Wounds to the heart always take time. Do not rush.

Tolerate suffering and think about how it helps you to grow. Feed hope and do not fall into isolation or a victim mentality. Trust that everything will turn out well. Haven’t you gotten up before?



This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.