5 Reasons to Love Yourself Just the Way You Are

5 Reasons to Love Yourself Just the Way You Are
Gema Sánchez Cuevas

Reviewed and approved by the psychologist Gema Sánchez Cuevas.

Last update: 21 December, 2022

When was the last time you compared yourself to someone? Probably not long ago. We live in a society that pushes us to compare ourselves with others. Not only that, it also encourages us to rely on external approval to feel good about what we do. However, all this is slowly undermining our self-esteem.

To love yourself just the way you are doesn’t mean that you give up on improving yourself. Rather, it means that you understand and feel that you have value right now. So here, comparisons can give us information, even motivation. But it becomes negative when we do it too much, resulting in permanent dissatisfaction and envy.


1. Let’s use our own resources to get what we want

It’s ironic that we’re always impressed by people with big personalities. We like unique people who stand out and don’t pretend to be who they aren’t. Strangely, we admire that quality in them while not seeing that maybe we have our own unique qualities too. What if we used them a new way to get or be what we want?

Let’s look at others as a source of inspiration. They can give us ideas, we can even imitate part of what they’re like, but combined with parts of us and depending on what we need. You are not like others and that is good! Stop hiding what makes you different out of fear, shame and insecurity. Try to love yourself just the way you are. Become yourself.


Painting of a man with his hand covering one eye.


2. Compare as much as you want, but you’ll never become them

Despite all the painful comparisons we make, we cannot become that person. You have your own life, you like different things, you are original. Even though you pretend, your personality isn’t the same as anyone else’s.

Stop focusing on your unmet desires, stop hitting your head against the unmovable wall. Granted, it’ll be hard because all around you people will be comparing you to others. But you are you, not them!

When you realize that all the comparisons in the world won’t give you what you so long for, it’s time to love yourself just the way you are. You are special, unique. Why would you want to lose that? It doesn’t make any sense.


3. Let’s accept the light as well as the shadows

No one is perfect and neither are we. However, sometimes we wrongly perceive that others are perfect. Let’s think about the times we’ve held back tears until we could be alone to cry, so we won’t look weak. So people may think that we’re doing well, when we’re actually falling apart. So they won’t know to help us.

This same thing may be happening inside of the “perfect” people we see. Because each person has light inside, but also shadows. When you love yourself just the way you are, you’ll learn to accept yourself. Stop beating yourself up for not being a perfect person. Allow yourself to make mistakes. Love yourself just the way you are and you will be free.

Love yourself just the way you are.

4. Decide on your own values

When you’re little you accept the values ​​of the people closest to you, usually your parents. However, these values aren’t yours, even if you’ve adopted them. How can you tell? Well, when they contradict what you do in your life.

For example, you might be very late all the time but hold the value of punctuality. You might be living at your parents’ house at the age of 30, but you have a great desire to be independent. When you feel two opposing forces pull at you, there are values ​​in you that are not yours.

Becoming aware of this will give you a chance to decide on your own values ​​and let the ones that don’t belong to you go, and not feel bad about it. After all, we don’t all have the same values. So you’ll start doing what you want and not what others want you to do. You don’t have to be the same as anyone, not even the members of your family. You are an individual, and don’t forget it.

A magical, colorful tree.

5. Loving ourselves will give us the ability to love others

If you don’t love yourself just the way you are, how can you love others just the way they are? It’s just another example of self-deception. It’s like when we think we can love, value or be sincere with someone if we are not like that with ourselves.

In order to give something to others, we must first start with ourselves. For instance, if you love yourself just the way your are, you’ll be much more tolerant with others and how they think. This is a very good thing, and you’ll see the rewards of it, too.

Can you think of any other reasons to love yourself just the way you are? As you can see, doing so will free us from a lot of pain, pain that we never chose but for some reason kept feeding. Treating ourselves harshly, beating ourselves up for our mistakes, and forgetting to celebrate our own successes.


A woman in purple and blue.


Sometimes it’s hard to change your perspective on things, especially when everything around you is so firmly anchored in a worldview that has hurt you and your self-esteem so much.

However, when we accept ourselves, we will realize how strong we are and then there won’t be much that can stop us. If you love yourself just the way you are, you’re taking an excellent step towards feeling free and good about yourself. What are you waiting for?


This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.