4 Ways to Connect With Your Children
All parents long for those moments of connection with our children, the ones that make our hearts melt. For you as a mother or father, it is necessary to connect with them. Moreover, remember that this connection is as essential for you as it is for them.
The connection between parents and children is the basis of a solid, coherent upbringing based on love and respect. It is also the reason why children accept rules and advice from their parents. Children who feel a strong connection to their parents want to cooperate with them, which leads them to trust them to know what is best for them.
Educating a child and creating a happy family is a matter of connection and not correction.
However, as our children grow, it can be a little bit difficult to establish a connection. Their surroundings, the development of their own personality, and the search for their own interests can make unstable relationships falter. The fear of not managing this paralyzes some parents, even when their children are still small. What, then, can you do to connect more and better with your children? We will see below.
1. Talk to your children, but above all else, listen to them
The easiest way to connect with your children is to speak to them. It is that simple. The key is not to forget that communication is a two-way road, along which two people exchange information. While one is talking, the other listens, and then they exchange roles to create feedback.
Do you feel like your children do not listen to you? Then ask yourself if you listen to them, if you listened to them and let them speak when they were little, if you feel a genuine and authentic interest in what they have to say, if you gave them the freedom to express themselves. If you do not, start there, teaching by example. Do not demand of them what you do not give.
Do not forget that, in addition to listen to your children, you have to be able to remember what they say. It is not just a matter of letting them speak, but of listening with interest and inviting them to keep talking, asking about what they just said. It is important for your child to know that what they say matters to you, that you are interested what is happening in their lives, even if what they are telling you seems like the simplest and most absurd thing in the world.
2. Show interest in their interests
Sometimes, speaking does not work for all children. It is possible that your child may have put up a wall and does not realize that your desire is to help them. In this case, think about doing something together. But not just anything, something that your child shows a true interest in.
In general, showing interest in what makes your child feel motivated will allow you to have an alternate means of connection and will keep them by your side. It is not just about respecting their interests, but in trying to share them, to get to know them. Give them the chance to unleash their passion on something with you, even if you do not like it or it does not feel right.
3. Share your passions with your child
It is not just the child who needs to open up to create a connection with their parents. If you as a parent are not willing to show them who you are and share your passions with them, you cannot expect them to do the same.
Do not make the excuse that you need that time for yourself, that this is your personal space. There will come a day when your child will also need his space and time and will not want to share it with you. If you do not let them in, do not expect them to let you enter or to talk to you about it. Do not complain that they went somewhere else to find what he did not find within.
4. Do not use blame as a weapon
Making your children feel guilty for not wanting to be with you is a cowardly strategy to control and dominate them. With guilt, you will only achieve an apparent connection and for your child to pretend to do what you ask. Furthermore, you will be telling them that creating guilt can be a valid means of achieving an end. Do you really want them to learn that?
Playing the blame game will prevent you from knowing your children, as they will only show you the face you want to see.