4 Tips to Get Over Anger

· October 14, 2016

Buddha is credited with having said, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” Looking at this quote, getting over anger seems like the right attitude.

However, we must never forget that we all have the right to get angry. Those little moments when everything seems to go wrong and we find ourselves forced to express our indignation and rage are really useful.

What is not at all useful is being walled in with attitudes of permanent anger, bad moods, or eternal rage. Once the tantrum phase has passed, the best thing to do is keep moving forward, as complicated as this may seem.

Getting over rage

For many people, the idea of getting over rage can seem difficult. There are specialized scientific and psychological studies, however, that have created a series of exercises and attitudes that will be very useful for any kind of person.

Among all these studies, some of particular interest are the ones conducted by doctors Charles Spielberger from the University of Southern Florida and Jerry Deffenbacher from the University of Colorado, both psychologists specialized in anger management and members of the American Psychology Association.

Angry Woman

Deffenbacher and Spielberger defend rage as a normal and healthy human emotion. There is no concrete reason why anger person should be seen as strange or abnormal. The problem with rage, anger, and indignation comes when you lose control of them. In that moment, the emotion becomes destructive and ends up affecting the quality of life of any person.

Describing anger

Doctor Charles Spielberger defines anger as an emotional state whose intensity varies from light irritation to such an intense rage that it turns into true fury. Whatever the case may be, this also comes along with a series of biological and psychological changes.

During an anger process, the heart rate and blood pressure increase. We also experience an increase in the levels of the energy hormones, namely, noradrenaline and adrenaline.


Logically, as doctors Deffenbacher and Spielberger defend, maintaining an excessively high level of anger has terrible consequences for the body in the medium and long term, which is why it is necessary to learn to overcome it.

Strategies for overcoming anger

Before anger becomes chronic psychologists specializing in anger management offer a series of recommendations that may be very useful for all kinds of people.

Problem resolution

Many problems are inherent in our own human existence, and as such, they are unavoidable. We must adopt the best attitude possible so as to overcome anger caused by the various situations we must face. For this, the doctors recommend concentrating on methods for facing and dealing with problems in a calm and objective manner.

Two People's Folder Hands on Table

Improving communication

Many of life’s problems come as a result of hasty, imprecise communication caused by anger, rage, or fury. It is better not to say the first thing that goes through your head.

Deffenbacher and Spielberger advise active listening, relaxing before responding, and thinking about everything that is going to come out of our mouths. It is a complex process, but it is always better than being on defense and throwing constant retaliations that make the situation worse.

“Anger and intolerance are the enemies of correct understanding”

-Mahatma Gandhi-

Never losing our sense of humor

The doctors defend the sense of humor as a mechanism for overcoming anger. However, its use must not be limited to laughing at the situation or being cruel and ironic. The management method they recommend is rather different.

Deffenbacher and Spielberger promote an active sense of humor. For example, if you want to insult someone, it is better to keep quiet and imagine things. Visualize it and laugh at the situation. This method will help calm your state of anger quite a bit.

Woman Holding Happy and Angry Faces

Changes in environment

Finally, psychologists specializing in anger management say that our environment may affect our mood. If your environment ends up irritating you and is a constant source of anger, it is logical for you to look for greener pastures.

“People won’t have time for you if you are always angry or complaining.”

-Stephen Hawking-

So then, overcoming anger has no reason to be an impossible labor. We must simply have the right tools, and now you have some very powerful ones. We must also know that our own health, both mental and physical, would improve significantly if we learned to control our anger.