3 Reasons Why It's Difficult for You to Relax

Do you feel that you're unable to relax properly? You try to do it and know the techniques, but you still don't get the desired results. Why does this happen?
3 Reasons Why It's Difficult for You to Relax
Sergio De Dios González

Written and verified by the psychologist Sergio De Dios González.

Last update: 28 July, 2022

Do you know the reason why it’s difficult for you to relax? Believe it or not, it goes way beyond the effort you put into it. Perhaps you haven’t given much thought to other important factors you should pay attention to. When it comes to relaxation, it’s vital to feel comfortable in most aspects of life. In this sense, know that some blocks operate below the minimum level of consciousness, which may hinder the process of setting anxiety aside.

Perhaps one of the main reasons why it’s difficult for you to relax is the struggle to get around social mandates. You may not be getting any direct orders, but still, many external pressures can condition the relaxation process.

Another reason why it’s difficult for you to relax may be related to your way of oversizing yourself. Giving too much importance to individuality can make you feel very tense, as it ends up turning your ego into a rigid shell that protects and separates you from the rest of the world. What’s the reason behind all that stress? What prevents relaxation?

1. The cult of productivity

In order to properly relax, you need peace and quiet. However, we live in a world that demands the exact opposite; to be moving at all times and exchanging information nonstop. In all honesty, most people live a hectic lifestyle nowadays. Companies want agile, fast people that are capable of producing at all times.

This has conditioned people to a great extent, in the sense that calm makes them feel guilty, lazy, or irresponsible. According to society, not doing something productive equals wasting time. On the other hand, taking advantage of time equals action, even better if it’s used to do more than one activity at the same time. This is the idea that supports something called “the cult of productivity”.

We speak of productivity in economic terms, although, from the human standpoint, they suppose total unproductivity. However, time is so important in this regard that even the idea of ​​stopping for a moment to take a break is frowned upon. Without a doubt, relaxation is a utopia under these conditions.

A woman feeling stressed out.

2. Appearances before all

Another great obstacle to relaxation is the weight of appearances. In recent decades, another cult has been imposed: the cult of the body. Taking care of it has become one of the number one things individuals do in their free time.

In this sense, the body has become an object of maximum care. Exercise, food, sun, and water, among many other things, are needed in order to shine before others. Obviously, all these elements are positive for health. However, a lot of people don’t do it because it’s healthy necessarily. People want to look slim and beautiful because that’s how they fit the prototype of beauty and intelligence.

However, is that really self-care? Is it possible to relax when having to meet such demanding goals?

If you want to know why it's difficult for you to relax, it's important that you analyze how you feel about a lot of aspects in your life. In this photo, a woman doing introspection while looking at herself in the mirror.

3. Attachment, one of the reasons why it’s difficult for you to relax

Attachment is a deep form of conditioning. In fact, you can develop an attachment to ideas, customs, emotions, mistakes, and many other things. In a way, there’s a force that pushes you to visualize, have, and keep everything as it is, no changes needed. Additionally, there’s a need to remain the same to avoid facing uncertainty.

Moreover, attachment often prevents the mind from flowing freely and going where it really wants to go. It’s very difficult to have total control of one’s mind. Actually, attachment puts into play the tension between the desire to maintain habits, affections, possessions, and the constant change of reality. It’s common for change to make you tense, especially when they’re happening all the time. This, of course, may lead you to remain in a state of useless resistance.

Fighting the natural flow of reality is pointless, as you won’t win. It also prevents the mind from being flexible. And that’s one of the reasons why it’s difficult for you to relax: being resistant to change, attaching to an idea of ​​reality that you wished stayed the same forever.

In brief, staying tense or captive to stress is one of the worst things you can do. Not only does it make handling all your emotions more difficult but it can make you physically ill as well. Finding ways to relax and working towards relaxation is an essential part of mental hygiene. Give yourself some time to reflect on this topic and work on yourself!

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • Walker, C. E. (2002). Aprenda a relajarse: las técnicas y ejercicios más eficaces para la relajación física y mental. Editorial AMAT.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.