3 keys to having a conversation without losing the other person’s interest

· July 31, 2018

Winston Churchill said that “a good conversation should exhaust the issue, not the speakers.” Undoubtedly, a man who negotiated as much as Churchill had to know how to have a conversation without losing the interest of the other person, although it is very unlikely that he wrote them on paper and left them for posterity.

However, in this article we are going to give you some tips. We are social beings, and our life develops around relationships with other people. That is why it is important to know how to generate good conversations.

Keys to having a conversation without losing the interest of the other person

Have you ever felt that, while you were speaking, other people were trying to hold back a yawn? Do you notice how your audience loses interest in what you are talking about despite the importance of what you are talking about? Do your students fall asleep in class? If you suffer from any of these issues, or something similar, these keys to conversation will interest you, as they will allow you to connect emotionally with other people and retain their interest.

There are keys to conversation.

But before we get fully into it, there is something we need to make very clear: what you say must be well researched. That is, your speech should be clear or coherent. If you have good content, you just need to express it in a way that makes the audience not want to miss a single word.

“Kisses are related to words, and love can be a perfect conversation.”

-Angels Mastretta-


Tell a small and brief story

Have you had a history teacher who told the lesson as if it were a story or an adventure? Do you know anyone who this happened to? Most people who had such a teacher now remember those classes with great affection. They look back on them as an immersion into wonderful world that they would love to return to.

So, when you talk to someone, don’t just give them a list of tasks monotonously. Introduce your partner into the story, explain how the idea came about in a way that gives them a better understanding as to your objectives.

The tone with which we speak is paramount. So if we use a direct style, but not dry, cold and monotonous, with brief explanations that contextualize what we want to say, it is easier for the other person not to lose interest in what we are telling him or her.

Meet your partner in conversation

This is a key to a fully logical conversation. You have to know your partner in conversation well to know what you can talk about and the best way to carry out the conversation. A child is not the same as an adult, to give a simple example.

It is essential to know who we are talking to. For this, it is good to know their cultural level, their tastes, their preferences … Otherwise, if we enter into matters that the other is unaware of, in which it is easy to get lost and use a very technical terminology, it is very possible that we will end up talking only to ourselves.

 Whatever you find out about the other person, according to their age, tastes and cultural level, you will have to adapt your speech to their needs. That is, do what you need to do so that they understand the message and find it interesting. Contextualize, answer their questions, use the different techniques.

Ask questions while conversing.

Search for popular references

Using popular references is a very useful resource so as not to lose the attention of the audience. So, if you have to explain something long and complex, add understandable analogies, popular sayings, fun metaphors …

In short, you should base your speech on elements of popular culture that the other person already knows. This will help make your ideas clearer and give them a better idea of what you are trying to convey.  This will also allow you to put more emotion into your speech with will also help your audience stay connected and interested.

Other interesting keys to talking

These keys to talking and not losing the interest of your audience are generally basic. But there are others that are also interesting:

  • Take breaks. The pauses create expectations in the audience and give dramatic and expressive depth to the message. But make sure these breaks are not excessive, or they will end up bored.
  • Use empathy. This way you can adopt the perspective of the listener and you will know better what he would like to hear.
  • Look at the nonverbal language. This will tell you a lot about your audience, and you can adapt the way you express yourself from the feedback that others are giving you.

Now, once you know these keys to keep up a good conversation, you can try to put them into practice. Hopefully they will help you to become a great conversationalist. Hours and hours of entertaining debates await you.

“Silence is one of the greatest arts of conversation.”

-William Hazlitt-