I Never Lose, I Either Win or Learn

February 8, 2018

Dealing with loss is manageable. When we lose something or someone, behind all the pain, bewilderment and pride there is a lesson that will heal us all on its own. The understanding of the loss is linked to  our ego’s arbitrary interpretations of it. Depending on how we relate to ourselves, we will either see the loss as bad luck or fate, or as a situation that we can learn from as we go through it.

As Charles Dickens said: I learn whatever I need to learn from every failure. Read on and discover with us the best advice on dealing with loss.

When we go through difficult experiences that are hard to cope with nobody is prepared for them. The losses and failures themselves are what prepare us. Losses make us more complete and whole as people and teach us important things about life, even if our ego might have its hopes placed in other areas.

Everybody, sooner or later, is going to suffer losses of relatives, friends or partners. Not wanting to face the loss or accept it is the real problem. We know that these things will happen and when they do happen then we will learn something from them all. There’s no doubt that many lessons will be learned, as valuable as they are painful. Dealing with loss is indeed a vital part of our lives.

The best way of winning is to not always want to win

Dealing with loss: How to come out stronger

Suffering is an aspect of life that cannot be eradicated, because the influence of chance or death is something that will always be with us. Without them, life would not be complete. The pain of the loss of relatives and loved ones is part of the whole process of life. Without it life would not be life.

Acceptance is the key to dealing with loss, so that the natural pain doesn’t lead to a continuous and prolonged suffering that causes a maladjusted state of life.

Woman dealing with loss

In Viktor Frankl‘s wonderful book Man in Search of Meaning, he shows us loss from a more humanistic and adaptive perspective. The way in which man accepts his destiny and all the suffering that it entails, adds a deeper and richer meaning to his life. Even under the most difficult circumstances it’s possible to keep your courage, dignity, and generosity. If you forget or lose your human dignity you become the most destructive of animals.

It is often an exceptionally difficult situation, such as the loss of a family member or the break-up of a relationship, that gives us the opportunity to grow spiritually and to go beyond our limits. Whoever loses faith in their future is doomed and destitute and their life will be filled with physical and mental apathy.

What we really can’t afford to lose is ourselves. This should be our first and last priority and should occupy the utmost importance in our lives.

Tell me and I’ll forget it, teach me and I’ll remember it, involve me and I’ll learn it

-Benjamin Franklin-

Dealing with loss: a learning process

What we learn from the loss of someone or something is not always positive. We also have to learn from the negative aspects that the loss leaves us with, and this is all part of dealing with loss. For example, in emotional turmoil, loss leaves an almost indelible mark on our ego, and this continues to take its toll even when our feelings are no longer alive. Therefore, we have to learn from the bad aspects of the loss, and focus on the good things that remain as a result of the whole situation.

I learn from every loss, despite the pain

Woman remembering and dealing with loss

From the moment we are born we learn to own things and to be close to what and who we love in order to find security. However, very few people help us to know what to do or feel when we lose a loved one or experience any other type of separation. When we experience the loss of a loved one, relationship, a dream or something material, the main causes of the pain are the attachments and fears that we have adopted or generated during our life.

To overcome the losses and come out stronger, then we should focus on the positive things that this may awaken in us. The most valuable thing in all of this is the learning it offers us. A learning that will enable us to recover our strength and our desire to keep moving forward in life.

Being smart is learning from experience