How Do Romantic Relationships Between Three People Work?

Romantic relationships between three people are possible; they involve feelings and also certain complications. Learn more about them.

Written and verified by the psychologist Sofía Gimbert.

Last update: 03 October, 2024

Romantic relationships between three people, also known as “triads” or “throuple,” are the non-monogamous way in which three individuals establish a loving and committed bond.

Find out in this article how these connections operate, if they’re correct, and the healthy way to approach them. We’ll also offer information about the possible complications and the difference between this kind of relationship and those of an open nature.

This is how romantic relationships between three people work

Unlike conventional relationships, where an exclusive relationship between two people is generally expected, in the bond between three people, a bond of love, affection, and commitment is built between all members. This is how a work published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior describes it.

These relationships build a strong foundation of communication, honesty, and mutual consent. Each member of the throuple establishes their own emotional and sexual connections with the other two; commitment is built around equality and respect.

Establishing clear agreements about boundaries, expectations, and responsibilities within the relationship is essential. Open and honest communication is the cornerstone to ensuring that everyone feels heard and supported in their love journey together.

Is it okay to have a romantic relationship between three people?

The question of what’s right in romantic relationships between three people is complex and subjective, as it involves values, cultural norms, and individual beliefs. There’s no single right answer, as what works for one person may not work for another. However, it’s important to consider the following aspects when evaluating this type of relationship:

• Mutual respect: It’s essential to respect the needs, desires, and limits of each member of the triad. This involves active listening, valuing the opinions of others, and treating everyone involved with equality and dignity.
• Consent and honesty: In loving relationships between three people, it’s essential that each member gives their free and informed consent to participate. Furthermore, honesty and transparency are essential to ensuring that all parties are informed and will make decisions based on a clear understanding of the situation.
• Consideration of social and cultural norms: This kind of relationship can challenge established social and cultural norms. Before embarking on one, it’s helpful to consider the possible repercussions and the acceptance that may be found in the environment.

It’s important to remember that norms and perceptions change over time and that each individual has the right to live their life according to their own values and desires, as long as they don’t cause harm to others.

Ultimately, what’s right in these relationships depends on honesty, consent, and mutual respect between those involved. If everyone is engaged and happy and no one is harmed, then it might be considered okay from your own perspective. It’s essential to be comfortable and safe, prioritizing the emotional well-being of all those involved.

Tips for managing romantic relationships between three people

In any relationship, it’s essential to establish limits and agreements. When more than two people are involved, such boundaries are even more important, as is frequent communication in order to avoid potential misunderstandings. In this regard, we want to highlight the following tips.

1. Communicate openly and honestly

Find a safe space for all members of the “triad” to express their needs, wants, and concerns. Encourage constant dialogue and ensure the active listening of each individual.

2. Establish limits and agreements

Setting clear boundaries and consensual agreements is essential to ensure that all parties are comfortable and respected in the relationship. Discuss topics such as sexual exclusivity, time spent with each partner, and emotional expectations.

3. Keep in mind the difference between polyamory and relationships between three people

Both are similar, although with a slight difference. Polyamory is a term that encompasses the ability and willingness to maintain multiple loving or romantic relationships consensually, as highlighted in an article in the Archives of Sexual Behavior.

On the other hand, a throuple refers specifically to a romantic relationship between three people, where emotional and sexual ties are shared equally.

While polyamory encompasses a variety of relationship configurations and structures, a throuple focuses on the triangular dynamic of three people who are committed to one another. It’s important to note that relationships between three people are considered a form of polyamory.

Complications that can arise in romantic relationships between three people

Just like any type of relationship, those between three people face challenges and complications. Some of the common difficulties may include the factors that we’ll mention below:

• Jealousy: This arises when one of the members feels that they don’t receive the same attention or affection as the others. These feelings need to be addressed in an open and understanding way, encouraging communication and support.
• Emotional Imbalance: Maintaining a balanced and satisfying connection with each member of the “triad” can be challenging. It’s essential to dedicate time and effort to each relationship individually, making sure that all parties feel valued and loved.
• Lack of social support: Friends, family, or society in general may not understand or accept this type of ties, which leads to tensions and emotional difficulties. Seeking supportive communities and surrounding yourself with those who understand and support the choice of the “triad” is very helpful.
• Logistical difficulties: Managing logistics and planning in a three-person relationship can be challenging. From the distribution of time and attention to the organization of social events, it’s important to establish clear and efficient communication to avoid confusion and problems.

We must distinguish throuples from open relationships. In the latter, an established couple allows sexual or sentimental encounters with others individually, but in romantic relationships involving three individuals, the links are built between all members simultaneously.

There’s no single formula for success in a three-way relationship

Romantic relationships between three people are an increasingly recognized and accepted form of love and human connection. As long as it’s based on consent, communication, and mutual respect, this type of nexus provides an enriching experience for all involved.

However, it’s essential to keep in mind that each relationship is unique and that there’s no exclusive formula for success. Openness, flexibility, and a constant commitment to personal and relational growth are critical to managing potential complications. In the end, the most important thing is to seek the happiness and well-being of all the members of the triad.