How to Get Through a Fight with Your Partner
It’s impossible to avoid conflicts in a relationship. At the end of the day, you’re two very different individuals. But the problem isn’t that people fight. The problem is that a lot of people don’t know how to deal with fights. Read on to learn why it’s important how to know how to get through a fight with your partner.
Relationships start in the infatuation stage. While you’re in it, everything is beautiful, you’re happy all the time, and you feel absolutely wonderful. Nothing worries you and nothing can bring you down. Anything you might not quite like about the other person gets overshadowed by your excitement and all you want to do is be with them.
But that stage always comes to an end and leads to a more stable and realistic one. During this stage, you truly start to adapt to the relationship and realize that your partner isn’t perfect. Like any human, they have their weaknesses too.
How do fights start?
Besides the fact that you’re different individuals and disagree on things, external factors (such as family, work, friends, money, etc.) also come into play. Of course, living together can also be a big source of tension in a relationship.
Arguing every once in a while is normal and necessary. It gives you a chance to express your feelings and helps move the relationship forward. If a couple never argues, it’s because one of the partners might feel insecure and too scared to express their opinion. But that’s not healthy. On the other hand, it’s also a huge problem if a couple argues all the time.
You can use arguments and fights to help improve your relationship. But you have to know how to get through a fight with your partner by reaching agreements and finding common ground. Keep reading to discover some strategies that may help you do this.
“If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.”
How to get through a fight with your partner
Identify the problem and your feelings on it
The conflict isn’t always as much about the other person as it is as about something else going on with you. Something happened that made you feel bad and you need to “unload” on someone. That someone just happens to be your partner. Before you let that happen, do some self-reflection and figure out why you feel the way you do.
Know how to express your feelings and emotions
Once you’ve figured out why you feel a certain way, you need to know how to express your feelings. Replace accusations with personal statements. Instead of saying “I can’t believe you didn’t do this,” you should say “It makes me feel frustrated when you don’t do this”.
People react in a much better way when you don’t blame them or accuse them of things. So, if you explain to them how you feel about something, it’ll help them understand, empathize with you, and find a positive resolution to the conflict.
Don’t get carried away by your anger and never be disrespectful
If you’re in pain or going through a rough patch, your emotions can get the best of you. During these times, your emotions can take over if you don’t use self-control strategies. They make you un-empathetic and might end up making you take things out on your loved ones and hurting them. This will just make things worse.
Honestly, it’s best just to go out for a walk, sing, dance, exercise, or do something that relaxes you. Then, you can come back and deal with the problem in a calmer state of mind.
Open up a dialogue and reach an agreement
You can only reach agreements if you open up a constructive dialogue with your partner and calmly explain your issues. This will improve your relationship and help both of you grow.
Leaving aside your pride, developing empathy and assertiveness, and learning how to get through a fight with your partner are essential parts of maintaining a happy relationship with the person you love so much.
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- Díaz Morfa, J. Prevención de los conflictos de pareja. Editorial Desclée de Brouwer