Avoid Wasting Time in Useless Relationships

20 August, 2020
You've probably had that horrible feeling of being in a useless relationship; one where you feel like you're wasting your time. In this article, we'll be talking about how painful this process is and the indicators that'll help you end a relationship to avoid unnecessary damage.
 

Time is one of the most valuable things in the world. For that reason, there should be no room for people who don’t add anything positive to your life. Remember that time doesn’t come back, which is why it’s so important to take advantage of it. On average, each individual lives about 27,000 days. Of course, you must subtract a third of that for sleep and another for those first years you have no memory of.

Knowing this, why do some people continue to get involved in useless relationships? Why do they share minutes, days, or even years with people who don’t contribute to their well-being? The answer to this may be extremely complex. Thus, it’s necessary to analyze each personal story to give it proper meaning.

However, we must note that people don’t embark on useless relationships just because. At the end of the day, nobody deliberately chooses to waste their time with someone else. This isn’t about being selfish but about knowing who you are and what you want. Loving and being loved may be the most extraordinary thing ever known. Don’t hesitate to look for love in the right place and leave those individuals who do you wrong.

A man and a woman bored with each other.
 

Useless relationships are never enjoyable

There’s something important we must mention. Useless relationships may not be useless throughout the whole time. Perhaps it was a really good relationship in the beginning and it just went downhill over time. Just know that change is inevitable and life is full of them. Therefore, accept them and turn them into something positive.

Often, it’s easier to just keep up appearances due to fear of failing others or being embarrassed. However, accumulated feelings of frustration and disappointment in a relationship turn into pure negativity, which you’ll pass onto the other person. Next thing you know, you find yourself incapable of hugging, kissing, or complimenting them.

Relationships require maintenance. However, there’s a difference between maintaining a good relationship and trying to force a bad one. Evidently, the latter doesn’t make any sense. When you’re already fundamentally incompatible with someone, you run the risk of wasting too much valuable time.

Each relationship you have in your life will serve a different purpose. Some will bring out the best in you, others the worst, and most won’t matter at the end. The important thing here is that this doesn’t limit your ideas about relationships; don’t let bad ones prevent you from keeping your heart open.

That relationship didn’t always waste your time

If there’s something difficult in human relationships it’s knowing when to withdraw from it. It’s not easy to finally learn that it may be better to be alone at a certain time. You must realize that leaving a useless relationship means to stop wasting time. Actually, you may, later on, meet someone who makes you feel so comfortable that no time will ever be wasted again.

 

Stop letting useless relationships borrow minutes, days, and years from your existence. You know you’ve wasted your time with someone when, once they’re gone, you don’t miss them. When the good times no longer appear in your head without being clouded by a feeling of failure and disappointment. In the end, sharing your life with someone you no longer admire or value means a waste of your time.

Red flags you should watch out for

On one hand, it’s somewhat easy to detect when a relationship is starting to deteriorate. On the other, it may be something difficult to face. How many times have you been forced to go on a date without feeling like it? It’s just as paying for a trip you don’t want to go through with or wishing to be by yourself while being with another person. These are clear indicators that something is seriously wrong but we know taking action is easier said than done.

How could you distance yourself without breaking the other person and destroying every step of the relationship that you once built? It’s possible but we understand that just wanting to do it can make you feel instantly guilty.

A worried-looking woman.
 

Red flags characteristic of useless relationships

Some objective indicators must make you think and push yourself to make a decision. Some of the clearest and most painful are:

  • Your presence seems to bother the other person. The way you express yourself, your opinion, or even the way you eat is a nuisance. You stop being comfortable and proceed to being alert at all times.
  • They question you in front of acquaintances. For example, they bring up personal issues at random. As a consequence, your issues become exposed to people who shouldn’t know anything about it. Remember that you’re the only person who should bring up your problems to others.
  • You feel insecure instead of calm when you’re not with them. You sense that they may talk badly about you behind your back.
  • They don’t advise nor console you. Instead, they ridicule you for anything you do.
  • Your partner doesn’t agree with any plan you come up with.
  • Although there aren’t any obvious arguments afloat, the atmosphere feels heavy and uncomfortable.
  • Their gaze is no longer sweet and reassuring. Now, their gaze seems judgmental, as if they’re expecting you to reveal something. It’s an accusing, empty look. You can’t see anything in their eyes, there’s no expression whatsoever.
  • In brief: you no longer see any clarity in the relationship. Actually, it’s quite the opposite. You only feel an aggressive, sad, and stressful energy from the other person.

All these aspects are a sign that you’re in a useless relationship that’s wasting your time. Although we’re focusing on romantic relationships here, you should know that this may also happen with a friend, coworker, or even a family member. Depending on the degree of relationship, the emotional tear will be greater.

 

Don’t forget that breaking up a relationship is never easy. The first days it’ll hurt a lot but just know that healing takes time and you’ll be fine in the end. The vital aspect here is to be determined and not put off the decision for too long.

A sad woman.

You’ll meet people who’ll fill that space

You must keep in mind that suffering isn’t forever. When you least expect it, you’ll meet someone that will work with you to rebuild your life and that won’t make you feel alone. Again, we’re not necessarily referring to a partner; it could be a friend or co-worker.

Moreover, you’ll know that you’re not wasting your time when you find yourself expressing your opinion freely. When you can’t stop smiling or when you argue and then solve the issue without any malice.

Everyone has the right to be happy with someone. Don’t diminish the opportunities life gives you – hope is more powerful than you think.

Thus, if you’ve ever been in useless relationships and felt like you wasted a lot of time, just know that you won; you were able to put an end to that story. Now, the most beautiful thing remains: you can take back your vitality by doing things that are beneficial for you.