7 Great Truths About Love
Love is unconditional. It means giving yourself to the other person. To love is to respect, understand, accept, and to let yourself be loved.
But underneath all that there are 7 great truths about love. They often go unnoticed, or else we take them for granted.
Is love unlimited? Do I have to demand exactly what I give? Does my knight in shining armor exist? These are the questions that we’ve all asked ourselves on some occasion. But we still don’t have the answers.
We will give you certain tricks so you can figure out for yourself how much truth there is in love.
Be careful not to idealize
Believing in the perfect man or woman is an idyllic dream that we should leave in adolescence. No one is made for anyone else, no one is destined to be with that one person.
Love at first sight exists, but the idea of cupid’s arrow is overblown and depends on the circumstances. Our experiences, the context we find ourselves in, and the culture we belong to determine whether or not it happens.
We all have positive and negative qualities. Thus, any romantic relationship will also have its positive and negative aspects. There will be strengths that make us feel secure, and weaknesses that we have to work on.
Keeping that in mind helps us be aware of the type of relationship we have. It helps us to know which qualities we need to work on, and which ones move forward positively on their own.
Experience the fullness of love through giving
The beautiful thing about love is that when you love someone else, you love yourself at the same time. One of the great truths about love is that you can only love someone else when your self-esteem allows you to love yourself.
Love is a delicate gift that you can only find in the deepest part of your being. You can only admire someone else after you’ve accepted yourself.
To love is to feel the well-being, pain, and happiness of others as your own.
If you share your happiness and dedication with others, they multiply. You will feel yourself grow. Your life will be full and brimming with love and happiness. Why deny these feelings and the impulse that we all have to show them?
It strengthens over time, it doesn’t disappear
Think of love like a tree. At the beginning you plant a tiny seed, full of strength and the desire to sprout. Little by little, if you water it well, it will grow into a small tree.
The first year it will be a little unstable. But as you water it, its trunk becomes more robust. If you take care of it then over the years it will grow stronger and stronger.
At the beginning, the excitement of a new love makes everything roll along smoothly. But when a storm comes, if our roots aren’t deep, the little tree might suffer and the relationship breaks, just like that.
Love is not momentary. It endures
Zygmunt Bauman coined the term “liquid love” to describe fragile relationships. Relationships in which each person asks for a lot without giving hardly anything in exchange.
It is selfish, banal, superficial love and it is the product of consumerism. That means that when the other is no longer useful, you throw them out and look for someone else. It is the kingdom of replacement.
One of the great truths about love is that it isn’t fleeting, momentary, or frivolous. It’s normal to have small crises or inflexible moments, but overall it is an enduring condition that requires commitment and willingness.
Lasting, but not forever.
There is a very popular belief that being in love with someone is enough to keep you together forever. This is one of the truths about love that is only a half-truth.
You have to have deep feelings towards the other person for a relationship to work. But you also have to feed the relationship everyday. The small things are what keep the flames of love alive. They remind you why you fell in love with your partner in the first place and why it’s worth being with her.
Falling in love is easy. The hard part is staying in love.
That’s why you have to get to know your significant other even better as the years pass. Little gestures that aren’t difficult to do can make the other person very happy.
Someone who truly loves you won’t make you cry
Many people think that it’s important for their significant other to tell them the cold, hard truth. Even though it hurts and makes you cry.
To a certain point, you might be grateful that someone opens your eyes to the truth. But really, you are fooling yourself if you think that making you cry is a way to show love.
Someone who loves you won’t hurt you. She will tell you things in a way that they know won’t harm you. She will try to understand you. Her intention is not to make you cry or ignore your suffering, but to be with you and be your shoulder to cry on.
Melanie Greenberg, coach and mindfulness expert, has some useful advice about love. She says that “love is one of the most important and least understood emotions.”
It is irrational, a skill that requires effort and practice. It isn’t automatic and it depends on each person’s willingness to put in the work.
There’s only one step between love and hate
Researchers have shown that romantic love and hate have an intimate relationship. Both generate activity in the same subcortical areas in the brain: the putamen and the insular cortex.
Although we normally consider hate as something tremendously negative, we have to recognize that is a feeling as interesting as love. Still, we should be careful.
Hate in romantic relationships tends to be related to the build-up of small misunderstandings. Like the straw that broke the camel’s back. Though it can also happen abruptly if one person in the relationship commits a serious offense.
So, as we can see, truths about love are not much like the romances we see in books and movies. It takes effort, care, intention, and willingness to make it work.
It is the most beautiful thing a human being can experience, but it is also the most ephemeral if you don’t take care of it, and the most dangerous if you cross the line.