“You Can Count on Me”: People Who Can Be Lifesavers

May 27, 2020
"You can count on me" are five words that encourage us at times when we seem to be losing it. In this article, we talk about these priceless words.

Some people can be lifesavers in times of distress. Those who tell you “you can count on me” and who are always there for you. They’re wonderful human beings who offer you company and a safe haven.

Sometimes you need them. Sometimes, you’re more independent, although you always like to have their support. But what’s the real role they play in your life? That’s what we’re going to analyze in this article. In addition to that, we’ll look at what these people are like and what current research says about them.

A person saying you can count on me.

What are the people who say “you can count on me” like?

Each person is unique. Those who tell you “you can count on me” are always there for you when you need them. Although they aren’t always physically present, they give you their support and give you a hand when they can.

However, being able to count on someone doesn’t mean that they’re always present. No one can be with you all the time. However, they can help you in many different ways, no matter the distance.

Some people could give you more time in your relationship with them. However, even though they support you, they also respect your space. In other words, they set boundaries. Professional people do the same. Even if it’s their job to help you (a counselor, for example), they also have their own needs to think of.

In addition, there are others who really are there for you whenever you need them. This can be very beneficial for you, but it can also be very exhausting for the person who gives you their time. This is because they’re sacrificing their own needs to be there for you.

The importance of having people to count on

Sometimes you may think that it isn’t important to have other people’s support. However, it is. In fact, a lack of support from others can directly affect your health.

Although you also have the option to reject other people’s help, this doesn’t necessarily mean that their help is of no use to you. You may refuse to accept their help due to other factors. For example, out of shame or fear of making yourself vulnerable. However, having their support can significantly improve your quality of life.

Human beings develop in different areas, including the psychosocial area. This area deals with the bonds that we establish with other people. It’s important because it allows you to have greater security, feel protected, develop empathy, express what you feel, and motivate yourself, among other things.

In addition, your level of psychosocial satisfaction affects other aspects of your development: physical, emotional, cognitive, and spiritual. Due to this, having people who say “you can count on me” can really improve your well-being.

However, not all the people who say this to you will be a positive influence in your life. The important people are those you can develop healthy relationships with, those who give you support and love, while, at the same time, respect the boundaries that you set.

Two women hugging.

Why does current research emphasize this type of support?

Health is defined as “a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being” by the World Health Organization. Therefore, having people that provide this can, indeed, improve your well-being. However, these three aspects are all important and intrinsically linked.

Several researchers are currently studying this. For example, Nunes Baptista, Rigotto, Ferrari Cardoso and Marín Rueda, who published an article where they suggest that there are differences in the perception of social and family support in men and women. As a result, this affects a person’s sense of well-being and may be related to self-concept.

Other studies focus on health and its relationship with social support. Lemos Giráldez and Fernández Hermida talk about this issue in their article published in the journal Psichotema. In this article, they investigate social support’s influence on health and suggest that it could be crucial in the evolution of some disorders.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help

Having someone to help you is always positive, especially when you really need it. Asking for help doesn’t make you inferior to others in any way. It shouldn’t affect your dignity at all. In fact, in many cases, it’s an exercise in intelligence and courage.

In addition to this, if you can provide support to someone who couldn’t see a way out of their problem, that will bring you the satisfaction that you’ve been able to help them move on with their life. Helping that person could change their whole outlook. Your words, a hug, or other actions or gestures can bring light to someone in the deepest abyss. Everything can begin with the simple phrase “you can count on me”.

Giráldez, S.L. & Fernández-Hermida, J.R.F. (1990). Redes de soporte social y salud. Psicothema, 2(2), 113-135.

Baptista, M.N. Rigotto, D.M. Cardoso, H.F. & Rueda, F.L.M. (2012). Soporte social, familiar y autoconcepto: relación entre los constructos. Psicología desde el Caribe.