For Women, 5 Steps To Emotional Healing

For Women, 5 Steps To Emotional Healing

Last update: 19 July, 2022

From the beginning of our lives, we as women see ourselves as obligated to take on the role of the sufferer, a role imposed upon us by society, which impedes us from seeking the emotional healing we need.

As women, we have to take on many injustices and unwarranted pain, simply because of our gender. We take in so many negative emotions that we end up making the pain our own, letting it become part of our daily lives, and our deeper selves.

For this reason, we need to check in on our hearts every once in a while so they don’t become resentful; this way, we will be able to heal what we were never able to let go. 

Step 1: Find the wound

“What we once enjoyed, we will never lose. Everything we love deeply becomes a part of us.”

Bernardo Stamateas 

She doesn’t recognize herself in the mirror. She knows something is hurting her, something she holds deep inside. Suffering, anguish, and pain show on her face, coming from a wound that she knows is there, but that she doesn’t want to see.

Girl sitting in a field with bouquet of wildflowers

Usually, the woman staring back at us gets up every morning and takes on the world, maybe without even thinking about it; however, sometimes it is just as simple as she “is not having a good day.” Sometimes, the inexplicable sadness disorients her, and paralyzes her, making life a much heavier weight to carry.

When this happens, we must look deep into our souls and search for what is causing us pain, that thing that we don’t want to think about. The hurt woman has to question herself to find the right answers.

Step 2: Honor the wound by bringing it out into the open

Sometimes a person does not need a brilliant mind to talk to them, but rather a patient heart to listen. 

Our wounds, as well as our pain, inhibit us. The more we think about them, the worse they get. No matter how long we have carried these burdens, we must talk about them, to empty ourselves and rid ourselves of all that we have kept locked up.

It is necessary to have someone who listens to us, whether it be a friend or a family member, a spouse or professional who is a “healer of souls.” We need someone who calms us and offers us freedom and soothing comfort to alleviate our anxiety.

Drawing of girl sleeping on whale's back

Step 3: Cleanse the wound

Flow, flow to live… flow, flow not never die… 

Popular Song

This is the most painful step. Draining ourselves of pain and cleansing our souls will hurt. We have to take out whatever it is we have bottled up inside, no matter how foul smelling or ugly it may seem.

The wounds of the soul are full of pain, rage, spite, defect, loneliness, betrayal, lack of support, lack of understanding, sadness, longing, deception, guilt – our own or others’ –  and everything is made more painful every time we think of it.

For that reason, once we have located our emotions and feelings, we must stop perpetuating their place in our psyche. Cry; cry oceans if you need to. Crying always allows us to release part of our pain. Stay quiet, go crazy, rip up some paper, hit the cushions…whatever you need to do to let your suffering out.

This may be different from the way you normally deal with pain, and may seem strange at first. But the fact is, the way most people deal with pain doesn’t work; keeping it bottle up causes it to grow roots and take hold.

Step 4: Close the wound

Some women hope for something to change, and as if nothing did it, they themselves change.

Audre Lorde 

Close your wound, and don’t let anything else get in. Close it, but don’t just sew it up. When one fixes the pieces, it means that something has been broken, and that is exactly what we want to emphasize.

Drawn picture of girl with a turtle sewing the earth to the sky

Use a good needle and the thread of renewal to sew your wounds. We want to mend our broken parts and go back to seeing that happy, vivacious, inovative woman in the mirror again. A woman without a mask, without a trace of internal pain.

Step 5: Join the club of the scarred

We don’t know how much a wound hurts until the pain has passed. We are interested in remembering what was it that broke inside and, in turn, when did the before and the after come. The women who bear this weight like the symbol of a scar are many. 

So, do not feel shame, and join the sisterhood of the healed woman. Return to your innermost self each day to cultivate the possibility of making new things that will fill you up and rejuvenate your emotional skin.

Source of the Idea: lavozdeladiosaenti

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.