The Four Laws of Attraction in Love Relationships

17 February, 2021
The laws of attraction in love relationships suggest connection beyond coincidence. This is because only a few of the people you meet on a daily basis can penetrate your heart.

There’s such a thing as laws of attraction in love relationships. This fact suggests that the way you connect with a special someone isn’t always a coincidence. This is because some small clues such as complicity can drive you to feel attracted to one person but not another. These clues could be biological, social, emotional, and even unconscious. Altogether, they become “love”.

Psychological science has tried to understand the mystery of human attraction ever since. You’d assume a somewhat reductionist perspective if you limit yourself to explaining passion and attraction with hormones, neurotransmitters, and chemistry. In a way, everyone has the feeling that there’s “something else”.

Helen Fisher, an anthropologist, biologist, and authority in affective relationships, points out that falling in love is seldom a personal choice in her book Why We Love, the Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love. This is because certain people just make an impression and you don’t really know why. Thus, the gears of attraction begin to move without you even realizing it.

As you can see, it’s kind of difficult for the field of science to give a single explanation of how love arises. This is why it’s common to resort to a series of laws that provide a discourse, an origin, and a definition of the mystery of human attraction from their own particular perspective. Continue reading for a more detailed analysis of the data.

“We can’t decide to love. We can’t compel anyone to love us. There’s no secret recipe, only love itself. And we are at its mercy; there’s nothing we can do.”

-Nina George-

A couple enjoying nature..

The four laws of attraction in love relationships

These laws respond to social, biological, and anthropological principles. In fact, a good way to understand the mystery of love is to see it from different perspectives. One in which some may seem more accurate than others, but all of them offer a rather interesting global vision.

The world of psychology is now taking into account other visions beyond the point of view of neuroscience. Thus, studies such as the one by Dr. Vanessa J. Bonhs from the Free University of Berlin reveal that one can understand the mechanism of sexual attraction through neurochemistry. However, it can’t explain everything about it. Here are the basics for the four laws of attraction in love relationships.

1. The law of personality

There are ways of being, expressing, and behaving that attract, this is an undeniable principle. Some say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Thus, certain people beguile you for specific reasons.

Traits like intelligence, closeness, the art of knowing how to connect through dialogue, warmth, and wit, among others, are factors that can make a person fall in love.

2. Law of proximity

This may seem like the simplest among the laws of attraction in love relationships but it’s equally important. Human beings share common spaces for many hours a day at school, work, gyms, community buildings, etc. You interact with a given group of people, whether you like it or not. It’s there where most relationships arise and gradually become more meaningful and intimate.

Many people initiate relationships after many years of interacting as classmates or co-workers. Thus, it’s common to partner with someone who’s close to you on a daily basis, according to this principle.

Two people discussing finances.

3. The law of similarity

Is it true that opposites attract? It is! Well, it happens frequently, at least. However, according to scientific studies, it’s more common to feel attraction for those people who you share common interests with.

Therefore, as you can imagine, it’s always comforting to find someone who shares those unique passions with you, someone who agrees with your values and harmonizes with many of your goals, dreams, and desires.

4. One of the laws of attraction is physical appearance

Everyone knows that physical appearance is key. However, there’s a nuance worth taking into account. This is because people often think they fall for those who please their eye. However, they don’t realize that said people often have similar traits to their own. There’s something familiar about them, at least.

Therefore, there’s usually a certain homogeneity on average, despite the fact that there are many couples with visible physical differences (different heights, levels of attractiveness, races, etc.). Thus, according to this theory, people look for or are attracted to those with a familiar component. In other words, someone who’s somehow in harmony.

Two people following the four laws of attraction.

You may or may not agree with these laws of attraction in love relationships. However, most of you have most likely experienced them to some degree. Look at those you keep close and notice how their personality is often more captivating than their physical appearance.

Be that as it may and despite the fact that scientists always try to find an objective explanation to every human experience, one could say the universe of attraction continues to draw lines that perhaps only poets and artists can define.

  • Bohns, V. K., Scholer, A. A., & Rehman, U. (2015). Implicit Theories of Attraction. Social Cognition33(4), 284–307. https://doi.org/10.1521/soco.2015.33.4.284