The Energy Given Off by Your Relationships

Written and verified by the psychologist Valeria Sabater.

Last update: 15 November, 2021

The energy given off by your relationships determines what your life is like. We live in a world where it’s impossible to get away from outside emotions. It’s a world where other people’s expressions, words, and actions can either captivate you or make you uncomfortable. As human beings, we have invisible fibers running through our bodies that condition us in all kinds of ways. Some of them we never even notice.

At first glance, that kind of idea probably seems unlikely and fascinating. It’s worth mentioning that there have been big advances in the study of emotions and kinesthesia over the past few years. Now new research fields are starting to appear, and they’re definitely worth bringing up. One good example is the research being done about something called “body intelligence”.

According to this theory, we all need to be more conscious of our internal energies.  They’re the kinds of energies that stick to your body, though you don’t always recognize them. So when we talk about “energies”, what we’re really talking about are emotional states that either limit you or help you expand your horizons. You also project them onto other people.

This theory points out some other interesting things too. Most of us don’t know that we live in a world exclusively made up of emotional, mental, and bodily energy fields. It goes beyond matter, beyond a work environment with employees and furniture… It goes beyond a nice home with small luxuries and comforts. Beyond all that, there’s an emotional web covering every facet of our lives.

The energy given off by your moods

Every cell, nerve fiber, neural network, and tissue in your body needs energy to function. There’s a huge web of impulses that control everything we do as human beings. This is where your neurons communicate with each other. They create electrical brain waves based on what you do, think, or feel at any given moment.

There’s also one thing that really stands out in all of this. Your moods leave an “imprint” on the places you’ve been. Earlier on, we talked about work and home environments. You’ve probably all noticed this at some point. Sometimes when you walk into a friend’s house or start a new job, something about it makes you uncomfortable. Something about it brings your mood down.

Emotions, especially the ones that come from stress, tension, and anxiety, are easy to spread. Psychologists call it “social exchange”. Basically, it leads to a change in your mood and state of mind, because of the attitude or emotional state of the people around you. This “climate” can also have far more negatives than positives. It can cause physical exhaustion, low motivation, distorted thinking, discomfort, etc…

The energy given off by your relationships creates a very specific atmosphere. What the energy field is like (enriching or invalidating), will absolutely determine whether it brings you well-being or discomfort. Experts in this field say that the goal should be to make sure the exchange is uniform. In other words, you have to create a kind of emotional reciprocity where everyone benefits.

This is obviously a good goal to achieve in any family, romantic relationship, any work or school environment, etc. To do that, you have to start with yourself. This is where bodily intelligence comes in.

The energy given off by your relationships and the keys to well-being

Everyone wants gratifying, fluid, and meaningful relationships. But a lot of the time there’s friction instead of harmony. It could be that the communication has been strained between you and your partner, children, or coworkers lately. It could also be that you notice yourself being less productive or even less creative in your day to day activities.

The energy given off by your relationships doesn’t just have to do with other people, though. Your relationship with work or mental/physical activity is also important.  They’re aspects of life that take a lot of energy (motivation, interest, a positive attitude…). So the idea is to use all your emotions and mental states in your favor. That way you can start to enjoy everything you do. The point is also to improve your personal relationships, positively impact others, and create environments with an enriching energy.

We’ll show you some of the keys to doing that now.

Understand your body so that you can use energy in your favor

• When you get up in the morning, try to be aware of how you feel. Body intelligence is there to remind you that a lot of your emotional states take hold within your body. Tension, stomachaches, headaches, muscle pain…all of this can come from emotions.
• Remember that physical discomfort often comes out in your language and attitude. You wake up tired/don’t want to do anything and end up projecting it onto your partner. It might make you respond rudely to them or even make a nasty comment.
• The best thing you can do is be aware of your emotional state and find the source of the problem. It’s not enough to just put it off. You can’t take a painkiller and move on with your day. That emotion, that discomfort, will still be there and can bring down the quality of your relationships.
• Change energy poles. You probably don’t have much time after getting up to do relaxation or stress management techniques. You might need to put them off, but you should still make sure to do them at some point. If you want to change the flow of your internal, negative energy, there are a few simple strategies that can quickly bring you to a better emotional state:
  • A healthy breakfast.
  • Listening to relaxing music on your way to work.
  • Doing deep breathing while you walk.

Last but not least, there’s an important detail you should never forget. The energy you project onto other people is the same energy they’ll give back. If you bring tension, discomfort, negative expressions, and disinterest, you’ll get the same things from others. The energy given off by your relationships comes from the effort on both sides. Start by investing in yourself so you can give your best to everyone else.