How to Improve Your Self-esteem After a Breakup

How to Improve Your Self-esteem After a Breakup

Last update: 19 August, 2019

Breaking up is one of the most stressful situations a person can experience. It implies adapting to  a new lifestyle without a partner. Therefore, it’s important to pay attention to our self-esteem after a breakup. We shouldn’t let the breakup affect it. This way, we won’t end up describing ourselves in a negative way or comparing ourselves to other people to convince ourselves of how unhappy we are because we’re alone.

A breakup implies realizing that the life project we had has ceased to exist and that we have to face a new reality. In that reality, we need to take the reins to embark on a new path without failing. Our strength becomes a fundamental pillar that will help us move on.

Because of this, we want to recommend some keys to help you improve your self-esteem after a separation. This way, the recovery process will be more bearable and positive.

Ending a relationship: The importance of turning the page

After a separation, it’s normal to keep thinking about the other person, especially if you lived with the person for many years. In addition, even if the breakup was a change for the better, it’s still a grieving process that we have to go through. However, once we get over it, we can start to think about the common activities, the shared moments, and the positive aspects of our ex-partner.

Girl thinking about how to recover her self-esteem after a breakup.

Once the first weeks have passed, it’s very common for our memory to deceive us. We’ll begin to remember the most positive things about the relationship. We’ll start to doubt whether we made the best decision or not. At this point, it’s essential to be able to turn the page. This is because, in order to improve our self-esteem, we must be able to look ahead and dissociate from the past.

Having closure will help you improve your self-esteem after a breakup because it will allow you to think about the future, your personal projects, and the things you want to improve about yourself. Above all, it will help you value your personality.

If you leave the relationship behind instead of spending your time and emotions thinking about what went wrong, you’ll be able to focus on  what you want to have in your life from now on. And this feeling of empowerment is an incredible dose of self-esteem.

Reconnect with yourself: How do you see yourself?

Another step that will help you improve your self-esteem after a breakup is reconnecting with yourself. Pay attention, listen, and cater to your personal needs. In order to do this, you first have to do a self-knowledge exercise that allows you to identify how you define and see yourself.

Turning the page will help you improve your self-esteem after a breakup because it will allow you to think about the future, your personal projects, and the things you want to improve about yourself.

You can write down what adjectives come to mind when you think about yourself. If you have trouble thinking about words to define yourself, you can use a list of adjectives and choose 5 positive and 5 negative traits that define you.

As you can see, it’s not only about seeing the positive aspects of your personality and deceiving yourself by thinking that you don’t have any faults. It’s about accepting those negative aspects and asking yourself what you want to change.

Another key idea to improving your self-esteem is thinking of 3 skills you’re better at than other people. Something that makes you stand out, no matter how small it is. Write it down and remember it every day when you wake up. This way, you’ll start associating waking up with remembering your strengths and abilities and it’ll become a habit.

Look after your health, your appearance, and your routine

Another fundamental aspect to help you improve your self-esteem after a breakup is your physical and psychological care. In this sense, the first step is to look after your health. If you hadn’t been able to go to a medical appointment due to the breakup or stress related to the situation, now is the time to do so.

Looking after your health is a necessary task. Don’t forget that when we love “something” a lot, we worry about that “something” having everything it needs. This is what you have to do with yourself. Just take care of yourself!

Hand with a heart.

Another key point is looking after your appearance. To improve your self-esteem after a breakup, you have to see the person you want to be in the mirror. Looking in the mirror must result in a positive reinforcement. Therefore, dedicating a few minutes a day to looking after your appearance is very important. Keep in mind that self-esteem also depends on how we see ourselves.

On the other hand, it’s very important to create a new routine and put your life in order. Your self-esteem can be damaged by a breakup due to the chaos resulting from the process of adapting to a new situation. Living an orderly life will make you feel better and will also make you feel like a competent and independent person.

To improve your self-esteem after a separation, you have to discover the person you want to be.

You are a priority

Finally, you have to believe that you can get your self-esteem back and improve your personal qualities. Remember that you’re one of your most important priorities.

Many times, breakups bring additional problems such as child custody, moving out, and changes in schedules and routines. People tend to put all of these things first for their family’s well being. This isn’t necessarily bad, but you shouldn’t neglect yourself in the process. If you dedicate yourself 100% to those around you, you stop dedicating time to yourself. At some point, you’ll get tired and may not be available to others when they need you.

However, if the situation becomes complicated and you feel unable to rebuild yourself, turn to a psychologist for help. Ask for help if you think it’s necessary and remember that everything is possible with dedication and effort.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.