I'm the Love of My Life

I'm the Love of My Life
Valeria Sabater

Written and verified by the psychologist Valeria Sabater.

Last update: 15 November, 2021

I’m the love of my life. And saying it out loud isn’t an act of egocentrism or arrogance. It’s a reflection we should all internalize every day, just like someone who starts off their mornings with a good cup of coffee.

It’s not egocentric to take care of yourself, resolve your fears, heal your wounds. It’s not egocentric to leave behind people who have harmed you in order to face tomorrow with optimism and resistance. Because if I’m okay, I’ll be able to give the best of myself to others. I’ll be able to be happy and offer happiness.

Though it may surprise you, it’s easy to reach this state where you can love yourself fully and without limitations. Somehow, we’re almost accustomed to not only prioritizing the needs of others, but also clinging to external things as if they were our only identity: a job, a house, money…

Many dimensions cover us, layer by layer, like a shell, where slowly we start losing that essence that is self-love.

Because we should never forget that if we’re okay, the world is okay. If your thoughts and emotions don’t vibrate with that internal harmony that is self-respect, your reality will be distorted. Today we invite you to reflect upon this.

I had forgotten: I’m the love of my life

girl blowing dandelion

You may forget at some point that you’re the love of your life, because you prioritized other people too much. Or maybe, you never really knew, since from a young age you developed a sense of insecurity and self-criticism.

There always comes a time when we need to let go of things, people, situations… Some may call it selfishness, but I call it self-love. Having self-love isn’t something that can be taught in school. In fact, it’s an aspect we all slowly discover, just like someone who discovers a weapon of power of which no one had ever talked to them about.

Why does it take so long to develop self-love? In our society we’re taught and are transmitted the necessary value of loving and respecting others, which is, without a doubt, essential. Nevertheless, it’s not common for us to told that we need to love ourselves. Sometimes, it’s looked down upon to prioritize ourselves, or even for a child to have certain reactions that we deem as childish selfishness.

Self-love, to simply think that I am the love of my life, is not a selfish act. It is geared towards building and protecting our self-esteem.

Self-love isn’t thinking we’re better than anyone else, or that we have more merits or more rights. We love ourselves in order to protect ourselves, know ourselves better, so that nobody can manipulate us, and to know what we like and what we don’t.

Self-love is a feeling that shouldn’t embarrass us. It’s not just a tool that can be used for internal well-being. It’s about maintaining a balance with which we can empathize and respect others, as well.

indian girl and hawk

Self-love strategies

Whatever the circumstances may be that lead us to forget that the pillar of our lives is ourselves, it’s never too late to recover this awareness. We have the inner strength to recover our equilibrium in order to be happy, and be able to offer well-being to the people we love. To those who truly deserve it.

While you walk down the paths of life, you’ll discover that the important thing isn’t how many things you have, but how much you’re worth…

So how can we remember self-love?

Maintain an inner dialogue. Analyze those situations situations make your self-esteem vulnerable and keep you from being who you really are. You might have to leave certain people or even some relationships behind.

Empathize with yourself. We’re sure that you empathize with everyone around you. You understand their situation, their pain and needs… but, what about yours? What would you say to yourself in this situation?

You are authentic, unique and unrepeatable. It’s not a slogan or a constructed phrase. It’s a reality that you should start to believe from now on. You have virtues, characteristics and an essence that make you unique in this world and, therefore, important.

lady wind in her hair

Dare to love yourself and dedicate what you deserve to yourself, because loving yourself doesn’t at all mean you stop loving others. It means you recognize and make yourself happy, because when you start to be happy, that’s when the best things in life arrive.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.