Frequent fits of rage often hide arrogance. Arrogant people always need to be right, do not tolerate being contradicted or corrected, and are also constant victims of their own frustration. It is important to point out that narcissism is often behind pride, and thieforms a very exhausting type of personality.
We know that it’s hard for arrogant people to see the “error of their ways”. They probably won’t, because their nose is so close to the mirror that they can’t even see themselves. However, we have become so used to this type of presence in our environments that almost without realizing it we have ended up normalizing narcissism and arrogance. We see this in politicians, we see it in businesses, and we even see it in parts of new generations.
An arrogant person, no matter how old they are, “knows everything” and no one can teach or show them something because “it’s on their resume”. They also often put the needs of others on the back burner, and can have the emotional maturity of a 6-year-old child.
Those who deal with them daily are already familiar with their frequent anger. They have very thick skin and very swollen pride. They get angry at the smallest thing and they lose control. They commonly show behaviors like not talking to you for a while. Or they simply hold a grudge if someone upsets them in a small and insignificant way…
Frequent fits of rage and what lies under the mask of arrogance
Arrogance is always a mask, a porcupine-like disguise where the spines act like a wall of defense so no one can see fears, character faults, and weaknesses. For example, if someone tells me that I should be more patient and take things slowly, I will not hesitate to put my guard up and raise my spines (they have questioned my good work). It will not matter they meant the comment in good faith, either – I will take it as an insult.
Self-esteem is low with this type of personality. But this feeling of inferiority often transforms into a source of aggression. A catapult charged with anger, spite and bitter frustration. Also, the need to be better than anyone in any situation, circumstance or context turns into a “fallacy of authority”. Where no one should discredit them, where opposing them, even about the most insignificant things, is offensive.
For these personalities, pride is a sophisticated reward system. The most interesting thing is that this suit full of spikes is usually created in childhood as a way to hide insecurities. Later, it becomes a way of reacting to problems or disappointments. This is because arrogant personalities exploit arrogance and aggression to mark their territory, to find validation.
But what arrogant people really get is distance between themselves and others. They have a vicious cycle of superficial relationships.
What should we do when faced with people who have frequent fits of rage?
Behind frequent anger is a clear problem with emotional management, self-esteem, and psychological balance. No one can live under the crust of chronic anger, wrapped in a lion’s mane and roaring continually. Therefore, if we have a person in our environment who fits this description one thing that must be clear. The problem is not yours and you are not the cause of their discomfort. The problem, in reality, is theirs.
“Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy”.
When anger becomes a way of being, nothing will develop around these people. Also, if they have arrogance and narcissism under the surface that wants to control everything and take all the benefit, the best thing we can do is to distance ourselves and not waste our energy with confrontation.
This is because pride cannot be cured by arguing, only by alowing the proud person to eventually look at themselves in the mirror. They must get rid of their lion’s mouth and porcupine costume. Under all these skins are their vulnerabilities, their recesses of emptiness, their labyrinths of insecurities and even their scared inner child who continues to respond with anger to what they don’t like.
Frequent anger, believe it or not, is part of daily life for many adults. Therefore, it is worth investing time, attention and a good dose of affection in our children. We need to teach them how to love and how to tolerate frustration.
Let’s manage these situations – teach your children well.