7 Keys to Stop Undermining Yourself

Beating yourself up is a common attitude that can cause considerable emotional damage. Learn how to stop undermining yourself and improve your psychological well-being in this article!
7 Keys to Stop Undermining Yourself

Last update: 24 February, 2021

One of the problems that hinder your personal growth and that can create considerable discomfort is the tendency you may have to undervalue yourself and put obstacles in your way that prevent you from achieving what you want. It’s time to stop undermining yourself!

It’s easy to start thinking that you’re worse than other people are and that you’re of no value. You convince yourself that you can’t do something, and that undermines your self-esteem. As a result, and over time, this can have very negative consequences in every area of your life.

Keep in mind that the person who spends the most time with you is yourself! If you treat yourself badly, don’t take your feelings and needs into account and don’t stop punishing yourself, then it’ll be very difficult for you to feel good about yourself and become the person you want to be.

If you want to move forward and grow, stop undermining yourself and setting mental traps. Here’s how to do it.

How to stop undermining yourself

1. Open your mind and practice mental flexibility

The first step to stop undermining yourself is to adopt a proper perspective about yourself. To do this, first of all, it’s important to evaluate your level of mental rigidity. Do you really think about all the possibilities that exist when something happens or do you see the world more from an all-or-nothing perspective?

Being aware that there’s more than one version of events, more than one possible option and, in short, more than one perspective, will help you to look at yourself differently and not be your own judge.

A woman with a transparent mind.

2. Beware of perfectionism

Wanting to do things right is normal, but the problem occurs when you take this to the extreme. You can’t be perfect at everything. People make mistakes, and these mistakes are learning opportunities to keep growing.

If you continually want to do everything right, you may eventually sink into an excessive level of demand that leads to continuous dissatisfaction and a high degree of stress. Therefore, worrying is fine, but making everything revolve around your failures is dangerous. Sometimes, perfection isn’t so perfect.

3. Not everything is black and white

Not everything in life is black or white, there’s a whole range of shades in between. Therefore, you can’t simply classify things as just good or bad, because there are different degrees and many factors to take into account.

Don’t get discouraged when things don’t seem to have a solution. Life is full of ups and downs. What may seem negative one day may later have positive consequences for you.

4. Don’t blame yourself for everything

Another important key to stop undermining and destroying yourself is to get out of the habit of blaming yourself for everything. Why do you do it? If you reflect on how to do things differently or look for other alternatives, you’ll feel better. Therefore, learn to see each situation with perspective and analyze what’s happening in its context.

Guilt is a very limiting feeling that’s chained to the past. Because, although you need to know you have things wrong or failed, you don’t need to beat yourself up about it.

5. Evaluate yourself

Another way to stop undermining yourself is to evaluate yourself objectively and, as far as possible, do it without judging yourself. To do this, it’s best to think carefully about the reasons why some things aren’t going well for you and what problems you have at the moment.

Knowing where you are is essential in order to know what to do. In addition, we recommend you to avoid focusing on what isn’t going well. After analyzing this, start to think about what you want in your life and what you can do to get it. In other words, set goals and establish a plan of action.

A man thinking.

6. Don’t try to control every moment

Just as you should limit your level of perfectionism, it’s also a good idea not to try to control each and every situation. This is because it isn’t always possible to do so, even when you think it is.

Even though the feeling of being in control may give you peace of mind, always trying to be in control can also stress you out or can even lead you to experience anxiety. It’s much better to practice mental calmness through meditation, yoga, or breathing exercises.

7. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes

This last tip to stop undermining yourself is related to the previous one. Just as it’s a positive thing to try to not always be in control, you also need to be aware that making a mistake isn’t usually too serious. And if you do, forgive yourself. Don’t be so hard on yourself.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.