When Your Partner Starts to Bother You

April 11, 2018

Over a relatively short period of time, reality imposes itself on us and takes away the filter of idealization. The person who you thought would present a certain attitude or behavior reveals themselves to be just another imperfect human, with all their virtues and flaws. These flaws seem to amplify over time, leading to situations where things you used to enjoy are now starting to bother you.

Idealizing another person can end up frustrating you due to the overly high expectations that you had of them at the beginning of the relationship. Everything starts to change when you realize that you created a character based on that person. As the relationship develops, you stop idealizing your partner, giving you a different perspective on the relationship

According to Erich Fromm, if you want to learn how to love, you have to approach it like you would if you were learning any other kind of art, such as music, painting, carpentry, or even medicine or engineering.

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