Some people constantly criticize and stir up trouble. They continuously create negativity and talk about what for them are mistakes and bad examples. They criticize your way of dressing, your words, your gestures, what you do, and even what you don’t do too. Nothing is right if it’s not in line with their way of living.
But there are also people who instead of judging, see you with eyes full of understanding and curiosity. People who, even if they don’t understand what you say or how you behave, decide to listen, without ulterior motives.
I like people who try to understand others because they know that there are stories and battles behind each person. They make the world a nicer place because, instead of judging, they accept others as they are.
Don’t allow criticism to affect you
Life is too short to focus your attention on the opinions of others that are neither useful nor constructive. Listening to damaging criticisms and thinking them over doesn’t benefit you. Doing this only gives power to these words and allows them to affect your self-esteem. Don’t give criticism permission to take control of you.
Nobody enjoys listening to negative comments about themselves. In some ways, criticism can bring us face to face with who we think we are and how we act, so it is easy to feel offended. The important thing is not to take the bait of the people who are trying to destroy us, and to know that what others think of you is their reality not yours.
Try to imagine that when someone criticizes you they are giving you a gift. If you don’t accept it, it will continue to belong to the person who said it.
It is best to distance yourself from people who constantly criticize, and if you don’t, then at least have it clear for yourself that those who waste time criticizing and pointing fingers at others squander a lot of resources they could be dedicating to their personal growth. In a world of imperfection, where being different is what makes us unique, it doesn’t make sense to point out these differences as negatives. Because the attitude that improves our well-being is not criticism but rather the ability to want to improve.
Knowing how to listen and trying to understand builds healthy relationships
When people criticize others, there is always a lot they don’t know about the other person, but even so they always assume there is intention behind their acts. It is this ignorance together with low self-esteem that goes unnoticed by someone who criticizes, who builds their ideas on the basis of assumptions.
Constant destructive criticism damages relationships and creates emotional wounds, sometimes even from infancy.
To build healthy relationships, we have to leave criticisms to one side. You might not understand many of the behaviors, thoughts and feelings of other people, but I promise you that if you were to understand their path and take it into account, you would think very differently.
Practice active listening and understanding with others. Try to understand them without judging them. Bear in mind that the best option for you is always based on your way of seeing and experiencing life, and that the other person has a different way. So:
- Listen to understand, not to respond. People who really listen know that even behind silences there is meaning, because they feel the other person freely, with empathy and without barriers.
- Understand to discover other points of view, other realities. If you cultivate understanding, you’ll have the opportunity to discover other ways of seeing life that might complement yours, allow you to discover new things, or simply enrich you.
Nobody can put themselves in your shoes
It is said that nobody can put themselves in your shoes and it is clear that this is true. Your shoes are made to your size and your path, they’ve been molded by the stones and flowers that you’ve found along the way, so nobody can take your place. You have your scars, some have healed but others are still waiting and all of this justifies your way of walking through life.
Just like you, each person around you also has their own shoes. Wasting time criticizing them seems absurd when we don’t even know what they’ve been through. So, dedicate your time to improving yourself and continue growing, building healthy bonds and strong connections.
Fill your circle of relationships with people who add to you, not who take away. Don’t forget that criticizing is putting the focus on others to distance them, but listening and understanding brings us closer.