How to Avoid Dullness in a Relationship

Discover how to avoid dullness in a relationship in this interesting article!
How to Avoid Dullness in a Relationship

Last update: 13 August, 2019

Sometimes, it’s inevitable for routine to make an appearance in a relationship. The days go by and nothing new ever happens. There’s no motivation at all to do something different, which, as a consequence, leads to feelings of boredom and apathy. Is it possible to avoid dullness in a relationship?

Jessica Scheiner is a well-known clinical psychologist and relationship expert. She affirms that just like food, romantic relationships must be seasoned with different ingredients. Now, what ingredients should you add to your relationship? You may have been using the same ones for way too long and need to add something different in order to regain the excitement you once had and be able to enjoy your relationship again. Let’s delve deeper into this.

Routine in a Relationship

At the beginning of a relationship, passion and enthusiasm are all we know. Everything seems perfect, idyllic, and breathtaking. However, with the passage of time, dullness starts taking over and, in the blink of an eye, we become submerged in it. Making the same plans over and over again, maintaining the same sexual habits you’ve had since the beginning…

This situation is common in every relationship. The problem arises when it goes unnoticed. Thus, disappointment, boredom, and dullness take over and the relationship begins to go downhill. That’s why it’s so important to pay attention to each other and check from time to time how you’re both feeling. In addition, it’s vital to try not to instill new things mechanically. Don’t forget that originality plays an important role in relationships.

Lighting the flame of love all over again includes little surprises from time to time and trying to do different things. However, it’s important to remember that it takes two to make this work. Therefore, it’s important that both parties propose something different to keep things interesting and revitalize feelings.

Boyfriend and girlfriend being mad at each other.

How to Avoid Dullness in a Relationship

Don’t be so eager to plan everything out

Organizing your day to day is normal, but everything has a limit. You can plan your goals and work tasks, as well as your personal goals or fun weekend plans, with your friends and partner. Now, it’s essential to keep in mind that if you plan everything, it’ll be extremely difficult for something to genuinely surprise you. In fact, if you continue to do the same thing with your partner day after day, it won’t take long until boredom knocks on your door.

In the case of a relationship, this habit can be very harmful. However, this doesn’t mean that you have to improvise everything. You should just strive for adventure. Instead of going to the beach with the whole family, why don’t you escape together to a romantic hotel, for example? Or maybe you feel like going on a trip to a nearby town or planning a romantic dinner under the stars. Honestly, the options are endless. You just have to be creative!

Pay attention to detail

Being in a rush all the time makes us not pay attention to detail. As a consequence, we get bored. Simple things such as passionate kisses, fun little surprises, and improvised massages are important.

Don’t turn your back on little gestures, powerful words, or enrapturing, captivating looks. In love, anything goes – and everything counts. Every relationship has its own rhythm, personality, and essence. Try to spark things up a bit depending on what you feel your partner may enjoy.

Take care of yourself

If you don’t love yourself, you can hardly love another person. The love you feel toward another person is only as strong as the love you have for yourself. It’s important to know your worth and not settle for less than you deserve. Accept your mistakes, but also your successes and accomplishments. Love yourself.

In addition, it’s vital to make time for yourself. Enjoy some alone time doing something that makes you happy. Remember that confidence is key in a relationship. You portray on the outside what you feel on the inside.

New things… in bed

Some of the most common relationship problems are related to sexual habits. Every time you have sex, everything is repetitive and boring. Why not try new things?

Now, this doesn’t mean that you have to become swingers, see other people, read the Kamasutra, or try crazy things. (But if you want to, go ahead!) We’re referring to simple things such as changing positions, trying new things during foreplay, or using sex toys. The important thing is to talk about what you’d like to try and not do anything that both of you don’t feel comfortable with. 

A couple looking to avoid dullness by being more adventurous in bed.

Adventurous activities that help you avoid dullness

Action and excitement can avoid dullness and awaken passion in your relationship. Have you thought about trying different activities? For example, skydiving, going rafting, trying exotic foods, etc. You just have to think of something thrilling that will make you laugh and have a good time together.


Communication is key. It’ll be impossible for you to feel comfortable in your relationship if you don’t express yourself. Talk about your feelings, needs, and desires. After all, you’re a team and should work together to make each other happy. This is a basic ingredient in every healthy relationship.

Avoid dullness in your relationship by taking these tips and tricks into consideration. Remember that it’s possible to spark things up again if you work together as a team to make it happen.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.