Happiness is Not Doing What You Want, It's Loving What You Do

Happiness is Not Doing What You Want, It's Loving What You Do
Gema Sánchez Cuevas

Reviewed and approved by the psychologist Gema Sánchez Cuevas.

Last update: 21 December, 2022

We often confuse happiness with getting what we want, fulfilling our dreams and reaching our goals. We think we will be very happy the day we have this or that, because it is what we long for with all our strength, and our life seems pointless without that something that is not in our hands.

For those of you who think you’ll be happy in the future, I’d like to ask, what about the present? That is, you’re not living tomorrow because that will be coming in 24 hours. You are not breathing in the past because it happened yesterday or even before that. You are here in the present, reading this right now. Don’t you think your happiness should be with you right now?

In modern society the idea of happiness is deeply related to possessions. We believe that having things will make us happier. The more money, or goods, or children, or more space at home you possess, however, does not make us happy. It actually does quite the opposite.

boy with dog at sunset

In fact, happiness is related to being, not having. The more you get from life, the happier and the better you can be as a person. It is something that does not come from consumerism, but from love, friendship, solidarity, understanding and affinity.

You are not happier by acquiring more, but by being the best you can be. That is, if you focus everything you do in life on being the person you want to be, by bringing out the best in yourself and behaving as your heart tells you, you will find your path in life to be much brighter and happier.

“Happiness is inside, not outside; therefore, it does not depend on what we have,  but on what we are. “

-Henry Van Dyke-

It’s not about having more, rather needing less

There is a famous saying that goes “the person who has more is not the happiest, but is the one who needs the least.

If your life is focused on obtaining wealth and becoming more powerful every day, I can assure you right now that you will never find happiness. A compulsive obsession with being bigger and wealthier every day just makes you want more each time, producing a feeling of emptiness. You are never really satisfied with what you have.

However, if you live in the present, enjoying the little you have, because in fact, it is what you need, you will feel your life is much fuller and happier. You have what  you want, and you’re meeting your goals gradually.

“My happiness is that I appreciate what I have and do not  excessively want what I don’t have.”

-Leon Tolstoy-

natrual scenery

The key to your happiness is found in your heart

Actually, everyone knows in their heart what they need to be happy. But we mistakenly focus on the wrong things: your job, your family, your friends, your possessions, your life…

In general, a family united by love and affection finds happiness every day of its life. However, for those attached to possession, control and toxic relationships, the only thing they achieve is an empty, difficult existence full of disappointment and resentment.

Love and being yourself will help you be happier

Love is a great contribution to happiness. Have you noticed that when you’re in love it seems like you’re unable to touch the ground? You feel that everything is possible, you don’t need anything, and that everything is beautiful, nice and wonderful.

Generosity and solidarity are two virtues that agree very well with happy people. They feel good helping others, whether they know them or not. They advise and support without expecting anything in return, since they already have everything they need.

Are you willing to find happiness? Well stop searching for money, and begin with the people who are next to you and love you. Just by being yourself and enjoying the process you will achieve what you long for, but perhaps you’re holding back because you made a mistake one day. Forget about having, and think about being.


This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.