Talking about sex is still a taboo subject. Much is suggested and little is said outside of more scientific environments. Therefore, many questions often arise about what it means to maintain a pleasant and satisfying relationship. These questions affect many aspects of sexuality and today we will focus on one in particular – female orgasms.
We are talking about a pleasant sensation for woman about which many preconceived beliefs and ideas circulate. Which are facts and which are fiction? We are going to try to stick with reality and set aside what is simply not true.
There is no single type of female orgasm
In the first place, many authors distinguish between two types of female orgasms – vaginal and clitoral. The first is somewhat more frequent and faster and is achieved by stimulating the vagina during intercourse, without direct stimulation to the clitoris.
As for the latter, the clitoral orgasm can potentially be more intense due to the large number of nerve endings that are around it. In addition, women experience it differently than a vaginal orgasm – as a wave that spreads throughout the body and generates muscle spasms. Let’s look at orgasms in general, without distinction between the two types.
Myths about female orgasms
Currently, there are still multiple ideas about female feelings of ecstasy that we assume are true. These are incorrect ideas that, in addition to causing confusion, can prevent us from enjoying our sexual relations to the fullest.
If a woman does not orgasm, it is because she is not enjoying herself
Although it may be so, this is not always the case. It is possible that the experience was unpleasant for the woman and she did not reach culmination for that reason. But it may also be that the sex has been really good and that it does not reach that climax either. Reducing the sexual act to “yes orgasm” or “no orgasm” is really boring.
This statement is wrong and the result of a terminological confusion. Currently the erroneous belief that orgasms and sexual satisfaction are the same prevails in our society. But it’s not like that. They are independent, so one can occur without the other.
Masturbation decreases the number of female orgasms
This is just the opposite. Self-exploration is a way to gain experience and to know oneself better. Women who masturbate know what they like best and what helps them experience pleasure. In this way, they are better able to guide their partner and help the sex to be more satisfying.
In fact, Kegel exercises are often used to improve sexual stimulation. Although they are more known for serving as preparation for delivery for pregnant women or treating urinary incontinence, they are also very useful for sexual well-being. They are a series of contraction exercises of the pelvic floor muscles of the vagina that tone them.
If a woman does not have orgasms, she is sexually incapable, unable or inactive
In addition to being misogynistic, this is completely wrong. We have already seen that sexual satisfaction does not go hand in hand with reaching a climax. In fact, neither person has to reach one. The obligation to have an orgasm puts us under pressure and is even harmful, because it can block pleasure.
However, if sexual intercourse is painful or a person is unable to have an orgasm, the woman (or man) should see a specialist to check that they have no sexual problems, such as anorgasmia. We think that a sexual relationship is much more than reaching that moment of “maximum pleasure”. Psychological, physiological, motivational, and cultural factors come into play … Therefore, for a woman to feel fulfilled, she does not have to have an orgasm. Female orgasms are not essential.
Truths about the female orgasm
After exposing some of the false beliefs that circulate around orgasms, we can see what the truths are about this feeling of feminine ecstasy.
Women can have multiple orgasms
As opposed to men who need recovery time after an orgasm, the refractory period, women do not need to rest between each orgasm. Both vaginal and clitoral orgasms can be experienced multiple times, in an uninterrupted and even simultaneous way.
She can lose consciousness
Female orgasms are one of the moments of greatest ecstasy for women. In fact, it is so strong that it can even make a woman unconscious. This is a phenomenon called small death, also known as sweet death or petite mort. This refers to the refractory period experienced by women after an orgasm in the form of fading or loss of consciousness.
Specialists maintain that it is due to especially strong respiratory changes that contract the aorta. This pressure on the main artery of the body causes hyperventilation, an excess of oxygen in the blood. In turn, there is a mild ischemia, a small lack of blood flow in the brain that causes the loss of consciousness.
Synchronized orgasms can happen
Although it is difficult to achieve, both partners can have an orgasm at the same time. This is one of the fantasies most reflected in the movies, and almost a classic ideal. But do not obsess about it, because you don’t always enjoy orgasms more by achieving them together.
In addition, you can learn to synchronize them using different techniques. For example, the man can stimulate the clitoris during intercourse. Of course, mutual knowledge is essential.
You can have an orgasm without penetration
The clitoris can be stimulated in many different ways (fingers, mouth …), so the female orgasm can occur without the need for penetration. A sexual relationship is much more – it is enjoying every moment, rubbing and caressing. So that climax can be achieved in multiple ways. It can be a magical moment when both partners are satisfied without the need to produce that female climax.
As we have seen, there are many preconceived and false ideas about the female orgasm. But there are also many truths that must be taught from adolescence. The work of sex education is, therefore, fundamental.