Want to Fall in Love? Ask and Answer These 35 Questions

Written and verified by the psychologist Gema Sánchez Cuevas.

Last update: 20 October, 2022

According to an investigation, two people can fall in love after giving sincere and authentic answers to 35 questions.

The meeting should be intimate, quiet, and with only one final requirement: looking into each other’s eyes after having finished the questionnaire. And love will sprout.

Want to know more?

An experiment to fall in love

Twenty years ago, Arthur Aron, a psychologist and professor at New York University, conducted an experiment which was to ask two people who did not know each other at all, a man and woman, to answer 35 questions. After answering, both had to look into each other’s eyes for four minutes in silence.

Six months later the participants in this experiment said “I do” after having fallen in love.

The columnist for The New York Times, Mandy Len Catron, wanted to try Dr. Aron’s experiment on herself and her life. The result she got was that participants actually fell in love right away.

The secret to these questions is that the answers make you open up and expose your vulnerable areas, allowing a closeness between the two people to emerge.

What are the 35 questions that make you fall in love?

• If you could pick one person in the world to invite to lunch who would it be?
• Would you like to be recognized by others? In what respect?
• Before making a phone call do you prepare what you’re going say? Why?
• What would a perfect day be like for you?
• When was the last time you sang when you were alone? When did you last sing to someone?
• If you could live to age 90 and continue to be as sharp as a tack or keep your 30 year-old your body, which of the two would you choose to have for the the last 60 years of your life?
• Do you have an idea about how you will die?
• Cite three traits that you and your partner may have in common.
• What is the thing or situation in your life that you are most thankful for?
• If you could change anything about the way how you were raised, what would you choose?
• In just four minutes tell your partner your life story with every possible detail.
• If you could wake up tomorrow with a new talent or ability, what would it be?
• If you had a crystal ball to tell you the truth about yourself, about your life or future, what would you like to know?
• Is there something you’ve wanted to do for a long time? What’s preventing you from doing it?
• What has been the greatest achievement of your life?
• What do you value most in friends and the people you love?
• What is your best memory?
• What is the most painful memory that you have experienced?
• If you knew that you would die at any moment, would you change anything about your life today? Why?
• What do friends mean to you?
• What roles do love and affection play in your life?

• Mention your partner’s five most important qualities in order.
• How close is your relationship with your family? Do you think you had a happy childhood?
• What do you think of your relationship with your mother?
• Begin three true sentences with the word “we”.
• Complete the following sentence: “I want to share…….. with someone “
• If you would like to be a close friend to your partner what should he/she know she about you?
• Tell your partner what you like about him/her: Be very sincere and say in a way you wouldn’t be able to say it to a stranger.
• Tell your partner about an unpleasant moment in your life.
• When is the last time you cried and why?
• Tell your partner what you already like about him/her.
• What’s something you would never joke about?
• If you should die tonight without being able to speak to anyone, what would have have regretted not saying and to whom? Why have you not told them yet?
• Whose death hurt you the most? Why?

Share a personal problem with your partner and ask advice  on how to fix it. Then ask your partner what they think of you being so sincere and honest in answering.

Perhaps it may or may not happen, but the truth is that we have gained more complicity with the other person. With these questions we have unveiled part of our soul.

Do you dare to try it?