Dramatizing Your Problems Only Makes Them Worse

Written and verified by the psychologist Cristina Roda Rivera.

Last update: 22 December, 2022

How many times have we said, “You are making a mountain out of a molehill,” “It’s not a big deal,” or “Change your thinking and everything will work out fine…”

Maybe these phrases aren’t well-received, but they’re our attempt to make others see that a negative attitude makes the problem worse instead of fixing it.

The best thing that we can do when the problem does not concern us is listen to them; that will give us the information we need to develop empathy.

But what happens when we’re the ones being negative?

When one of us goes through an unpleasant situation, that first encounter with the problem or that initial shock is going to have an impact on how we “process” it afterwards.

In every case, we must depend on the social support network we have developed and the psychological strategies that we’ve practiced. This is how we can feel better and overcome the setback.

Life problems and confrontation

Life sometimes hits us too hard. If it is something unexpected, maybe all of our personal and spiritual resources are not ready and we cannot properly stand up to the pain. In those situations, stress rears its head. Our emotions take over and the uncomfortable situation can prolong itself.

By not knowing how to accept a problem in our life from the start and in the right way, we can feel as if we have lost control of it. We analyze it very negatively as if the effects were going to be irreversible and the damage could not be fixed or minimized.

How to “undramatize” a problem

• Read verified information that puts the alarmism aside.
• Surround yourself with people who have gone through something similar and who are no longer affected by that situation or problem.
• Look for affection; do not act like you do not need emotional support, because the ruse cannot last very long and your discomfort can rise to the surface when you least expect it.
• It is time to practice gratitude. Be thankful for everything you have because this will be the foundation to lean on so that you can get up and keep moving forward.
• Take a look back at your life and familiar situations that you have gone through before. Identify what helped you and what hurt you so that you can turn the page completely.
• Time is your ally, but you do not want to “rewind forwards.” It has its rhythm for making the wound heal; we cannot impose the one that we want, but rather have to let it act according to our needs.
• Stop “winding back,” constantly putting yourself in the past moment when the problem took place. You will not achieve anything, you will not change anything. Focus on the present to make changes.
• Practice humility in your life. You are only going to learn from what happened if you do not adopt an arrogant or vengeful attitude. Remember that by overcoming all of those rough patches, a moment will arrive when you can say, “After going through so many bad times, now I just enjoy life.”

We learn from our problems, not from our drama

Nobody is clairvoyant when it comes to knowing how to live well; some things only start to become clear once we have already gone through them. Now is your moment to learn lessons that will help you before the next inevitable stumbling stone.

Remember that as much as you run, your true self will always catch up to you. So do not adapt a fake attitude that will soon collapse.

Let that past event adapt to your personality , to your values, and to your thoughts when it is time to integrate it into your mind. In that way you will be able to carry on with the mark it made, but without it hurting and without having to fake anything.

For all of these reasons, you must not fall for the drama and repetitively playing the victim when it is time to face your problems. Even if you sometimes want to embrace them because they seem like the only immediate relief. This will make things more difficult for you in the future.