9 Habits That Strengthen Couples
Love is not something that thrives on its own; this is why habits that strengthen couples are very important. Knowledge “of the other” is something fascinating, and develops in very distinct phases.
Reproach and and excessive demands or an overly independent lifestyle on the part of both members can damage the emotional health of the couple.
Maybe you are at a very confusing point, the point of no return. However, you are refusing to end the relationship because deep down inside, you know that there are still positive aspects.
The idea of most couple’s therapies is based on restoring the damaged connection. The intention is to motivate and provide the couple with tools so that they can solve their own problems before they start to fester and turn into even more difficult obstacles to overcome.
Psychiatrist Mark Goulston showed in a study the key habits a couple should practice in order to be happy. Remember that intimacy is the most exciting bubble, but also the most delicate and complex.
1. Reading the same book together
If reading a book on our own sends us to a universe of sensations ruled by our imagination, reading the same book as your partner can bring you a connection and very exciting mutual knowledge.
Reading the same book together is one of the habits that strengthen couples in their communication.
You can choose whatever book you both like, any subject can be good for reestablishing communication that you may have abandoned. You communicate about and share ideas about something external. You will be able to discuss the most interesting passages, consider whether the actions of the characters are the right ones, or what you would do in that situation.
Some ideas to share could be the marvelous book “Anna Karenina” by Leo Tolstoy, or others with more fun and mischievous touches, like “The Bad Girl” by Mario Vargas Llosa.
2. Taking a shower together
Taking a shower is one of the most intimate moments for a person, and if you do it in the company of your partner, the intimate turns into the sensual. Stress does not fit under the running water; it has a lot to do with closing your eyes and strengthening your sense of touch.
This is a way to open yourself up to your partner, to overcome your shyness, and to show that such a personal space can still be shared. If this is substituted with a bath, all the better.
3. Following a fictional series together
Watching a series together is one of the habits that strengthen couples, not just by establishing a routine , but also through the emotional bond that it creates when you watch a series, one episode after the other, with just your partner. There is a wide variety of series in every imaginable genre to enjoy: The Wire, House of Cards, Fringe… all that’s left to do is choose one.
4. Going to bed at the same time
Over the years, couples establish their own routines based around their job and their free time, separately from one another, so it is very common for them to go to bed at different times. This is not good for maintaining the desire and intimacy that a couple should have.
Going to bed together helps keep the sexual desire from burning out: “When they touch their skin, they still feel tingling so that it is not such that one or both are too exhausted to be excited.”
5. Saying “Good night” and “Good morning” independently of how they feel
They say that cordiality in a couple sometimes symbolizes the cooling over of the relationship but there is nothing further from the truth. These simple words can end up solving a period of tension or simply starting and ending the day with respect and warmth.
Moreover, a question that might seem merely cordial can give rise to the other expressing themselves when they have something to talk about. In this way, we realize how our partner is doing long before we would have if we had not asked that daily question.
So, one of the recommendable habits that strengthen couples would be to greet each other at the start of the day, say good night at the end of the day, or simply ask how the other is doing.
6. Calling or sending a message through the day
It is one thing for you to want to maintain your independence and another for you to mutually ignore each other. Couples that tend to send each other a message or give each other a call through the day feel more cared for and valued.
They face the day with greater hope, and knowing that they can count on emotional support from their partner makes them face the little setbacks in a more manageable way.
7. Hugging each other
A hug can make us change our bodily energy and the mood to something positive after a hard time or feeling particularly bogged down by something. A hug is the best medicine and, when they are warm and sincere, is one of the habits that strengthen couples.
“Whether it is at the start of the day or when they meet up at the end of the day, our school has a memory of ‘good touches (love), ‘bad touches’ (abuse), and ‘lacking touches’ (neglect). Couples that greet each other with a hug keep their skin bathed in ‘good touches.’”
-Mark Goulston-
8. Trusting and forgiving
There is no point being with a person if you do not trust them or if, when they betrayed your trust, you forgave them, but not from the heart. That resentment will remain there and it will come up when you least expect it, making you feel guilty. In the same way, your partner has to trust and forgive in a sincere way.
9. Holding hands
Holding hands helps us feel united, physically support the sensation of forming a team and walking together. Walking skin to skin helps the energy flow and be transmitted from one person to the other.