Take Control over Your Mind
Other people’s opinions are just that – they come from someone else’s mind, someone who has different experiences and interests than you do. Everybody has someone in their life who likes to state their opinion, judge and control others, and project their own experiences onto others. They think that everyone should share their opinions and limits, that they walk the best path in the world, and that their way is the correct way.
People like that try to make you feel like you’re worth less than them, that you’re not good enough. But blaming other people for your own problems and feeling responsible for other people’s problems are just two ways to relinquish control of your own life
You may have belonged to one of those groups in the past, or even both. Don’t expect others to do things for you. If you don’t do things for yourself, how can you expect anyone else to do them? Choosing to take control of your own mind and your own life, without expecting anyone else to take action, is the most mature and intelligent decision you can make.
You learn more about a person by where they’re going than where they are or where they come from.
Don’t let others control you
In our culture of instant gratification, the first things to suffer are effort and perseverance. We want so much more than we already have, without taking the time to plan or reflect. The ability to delay gratification differentiates dreams from whims. Perseverance is doing whatever it takes in the amount of time it takes to achieve those dreams.
In order to be in control, you have to live for yourself and forget about what people might say about your behavior. If you pay too much attention to other people’s opinions, you’ll never listen to the most important opinion of all – your own.
It’s not about being arrogant, but rather not letting others condition your words and behaviors. In order to take control of your own life, you must have a significant amount of self-knowledge and a strong conviction that you must pursue your own interests (trying as hard as possible to be fair and not to hinder others in their own pursuits, of course). If you live your life to please others, your chances of success will be much lower.
“People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds; it is something one creates.”
Nobody knows what’s inside your mind
Just like nobody can feel how you feel, nobody can think for you or be inside your mind. At some point, you learn who you are (and during this process, you recognize that there are characteristics that unite you and separate you from everyone else), and then you live with that decision.
But remember, you can always change your inner dialogue. If you substitute “poor me” and “everyone is so mean,” for “I can do it” and “this will make me stronger,” you’ll change your attitude. They might seem like nothing but words, but they’ll give you a definitive push towards the neurochemical changes that the new attitude will produce in your brain.
Nobody can know for you, nobody can grow for you, nobody can seek for you, and nobody can do for you what you should do yourself. They can be helpers in the process, but not replacements. Nothing can replace thinking for yourself. You need other people, but in order to cultivate and be in control of your own thoughts, nobody can decide for you.
The only way you’ll be able to act as your true self is by gaining self-knowledge, which will finally show you what you want and why.
“There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one’s self.”