What Happens Is the Only Thing That Could Have Happened
“What happened is that… What would have happened if…?”
How many times have we asked ourselves this question in our lives? Surely more times than we should have, given that we have probably made more than one decision without having much control over the consequences of it, or, in controlling them, without being sure if they were the ones we really wanted.
As such, take the time you need, because what happens from that moment will be the only possible option.
Choose, because this will be the only path that exists
When we are forced to choose between two paths – what we want to major in, what kind of job we want, or even what will be our next vacation destination – there comes a moment when one of the two ceases to be an option, and this happens in the very moment in which we make the decision. This is the reason that we have to consider what we find to be important for our future, for this will have consequences for us in one way or another.
Once we stop being pleased by one path, asking ourselves the question “what would have happened if…” is only good for imagining a life that, in reality, is no longer ours. And isn’t it true that, at a given moment, that can even cause us harm? So try to make the decision that will make you the happiest, given that this will be the only option in the future.
“Thinking things over calmly – indeed as calmly as possible – was much better than jumping to desperate decisions”
-Franz Kafka-
It is normal to be afraid when we have to make some decisions, but that must not stop us from choosing the best of all options: to live. Whatever may happen, what happens is based on the attitude that we put into what we do; desire, decisiveness, and hope are fundamental for our desire to happen, whatever that may be.
We are not the masters of coincidence
Sometimes, circumstances torment us, above all else when we feel responsible for something that is out of our control. Examples of these circumstances can be found in our everyday lives, like being in the wrong place at the wrong time or not being with someone because we were not aware that they needed our help.
However, these are things that do not always pertain to us: let’s call it coincidence, chance, or destiny. The fact of the matter is that we cannot feel responsible for this. We must not forget that we can imagine the future, but it is hard for us to know it. What we think is going to happen is only one of many options.
This is one more reason why we should not ask ourselves the question “what would have happened if…?” because in cases like this, we must not feel that we are responsible for what we did not decide on. As inevitable as it may be, and as much as we may wish to travel back to the past to change certain events in our lives, there is no reason to get hung up on what we would have liked it to be like, because there was no option for this.
“None of us ever know all the possible courses our lives could have and maybe should have taken. It’s probably just as well. Some secrets are meant to stay secret forever.”
-Liane Moriarty-
What happens, well, that is the only thing that could have happened, especially when the circumstances are bigger than we are. Yes, it is true, we can change things that we do not feel comfortable with, but this happens after knowing the fact of the matter and never in an anticipatory way.
Don’t look back; what’s happening is what you are experiencing
In summary, it is beneficial to slowly and determinedly consider what we want in life, and to be aware that, even so, there are things that we will go beyond our will. For these reasons, it is better to learn to live with our own circumstances, both the ones that we create and the ones that ended up forming part of who we are.
Sometimes, it is inevitable that we will take a glance back at our past and wish we could change something: this is also good, because it shows that we are capable of something what we did wrong and where we made our mistakes.
“When a person chooses one option among many, all the paths that are not taken go out like candles, as if they had never existed”
-Philip Pullman-
However, accepting that things happen in a certain way is synonymous with emotional growth, because that will make us consider other options for our future. Always look forward, accept your mistakes, and avoid them with your eyes turned to the future: what is happening is actually your life and this is the only way to draw closer to your happiness.