We Don’t Really Enjoy What We Have and Overvalue What We Lack

· September 23, 2018

One of our biggest problems is that we don’t really enjoy what we have and overvalue what we lack. Taking for granted people or situations we might miss later on is common. Although our goals arise from what we lack, creating needs for something that we really don’t need is a mistake.

Sometimes, we make the mistake of referring to almost everything we don’t have as a need and to what we could really enjoy, like people, feelings, or situations, as an obligation. And so, we miss out on real occasions because we prefer to fantasize, possibly because what we fantasize about is often easier than real life.

Generally, we don’t really enjoy what we have. This is a pattern that unfortunately some people experience most of the time. Some experts in the field have even talked about the ”missing piece syndrome” to refer to the constant fixation we experience towards what we don’t have.

Don’t wait to have everything to enjoy life, you have life to enjoy everything.


sad women thinking about the past

Stop idealizing and start enjoying life

It’s reasonable and logical to reach one goal and start thinking about the next one. However, the problem comes when, at the same time, we aren’t enjoying what we have. That’s the key. The present moment, whether we like it or not, is the only thing we have and it’s the secret to really living.

Not settling is an inherent tendency in human beings, but it doesn’t have to make your life bitter. On the other hand, motivation is vital and even instinctive. This doesn’t have to be negative. However, if we combine chronic nonconformity with the idealization of what we don’t have, we can fall into a pit of dissatisfaction and end up creating parallel realities.

Idealization usually plays tricks on us. We long for something because we believe that we’ll feel better once we have it. However, we can’t know for certain what a situation will be like until we live it. Idealizing is giving something a blind value. Being aware of all this is the first step to enjoying every day of your life.

We must become aware of what we have and what we are and enjoy what life offers us. We have to be careful with what we seek and desire. There are no perfect situations, just the ones we play in our minds. And that’s where idealizing what we don’t have, what other people have, and all of the things we lack, comes in.

Sometimes, we stop living our reality for something that doesn’t exist. Idealizing is the first step towards disappointment.

Pay attention

We enjoy little of what we have because we don’t really pay attention. Knowing what we should value is the first step to valuing it. Paying attention to the right things opens a window to well-being. Someone who knows how to enjoy whatever they have around them has learned the true essence of life.

Valuing and appreciating what we have is fundamental to fulfilling both our needs and the needs of those around us.

A man enjoying the view.

The following old story teaches us the reason why we often live focused on superficial pleasures that we can’t have while missing out on all the positive aspects of our existence.

In an English castle, there was a rule that established that tourists didn’t have to pay an entrance fee to visit it. That attracted most of the tourists. Once inside the castle, there was only one condition for not paying the visit. The tourists had to tour the castle with a spoon full of sand in their mouths. If they didn’t drop not even one grain of sand during the tour, their visit would be free. All visitors enthusiastically accepted the challenge and toured the castle.

As a result, most visitors didn’t pay for the tour. However, they paid a much higher price: not being able to appreciate anything inside of the castle. None of the visitors who did the tour with the spoon full of sand in their mouths saw the inside of the castle, its valuable paintings, nor its architecture. This is because they had only been concentrated in the sand in their mouths.

Don’t be like those visitors. Stop thinking about what you lack and start enjoying what you already do have!