What to Do if Your Partner Keeps Cheating on You

There are people who forgive an infidelity, only to suffer it again. Therefore, today we're asking why these types of situations occur and what you can do if you find yourself in such a predicament.
What to Do if Your Partner Keeps Cheating on You

Last update: 20 October, 2022

Facing infidelity is probably one of the toughest situations in the field of relationships. Furthermore, if your partner keeps cheating on you, the situation might become unbearable. In addition, you might find you even start doubting yourself. 

This is a phenomenon that can cause an earthquake in your emotional stability as a couple, especially for you, the one who’s been cheated on. In fact, from that moment on, you might feel like you just can’t turn the page – at least not as long as the relationship continues.

How should you act if you find yourself in this position? What choices do you have? How can you manage the situation so that your suffering doesn’t continue?

Why have you been cheated on?

This is one of the first questions that go through your mind when your partner’s cheated on you. However, rummaging around trying to find an answer often just leads to negative thoughts about yourself. For example, you might think you’re not good enough for them which is why they’ve looked elsewhere.

Research suggests that there are several reasons that might cause a person to be unfaithful. Some of the most common are the following:

  • Taste for excitement and risk. People who are more likely to seek an adrenaline rush by doing “forbidden things” may be drawn to having a relationship outside of the couple.
  • The couple does not cover their essential needs. Lack of attention, mistreatment, and unresolved conflicts are some of the reasons that lead people to feel attracted to others outside the relationship.
  • Resolving doubts. Some people have the idea that having a romantic encounter outside of the relationship will help them to reaffirm the feelings they have for their partner or, on the contrary, deny them.
  • There are no longer any romantic feelings for their partner.
  • Revenge or anger. In conflictive relationships, infidelity can be used to punish the partner.

If your partner’s cheated on you multiple times, you’ll know that the reasons above raise more questions than answers. Also, unfaithful people rarely open up, and if the fact does come to light it’ll be because, somehow, they’ve been found out.

Woman in silence with her partner

Chronic infidelity

Isolated and chronic infidelity can both result in similar consequences. Indeed, it isn’t necessary for events to be repeated for the trust to end. However, why would someone continue to be unfaithful? Here are some answers:

  • Because they can. Their partner forgives them and their lover doesn’t even know about the relationship or doesn’t care.
  • Because they don’t care how their partner might feel.
  • Because they seek sensations that they can’t find in their relationship.

Your partner keeps cheating on you, what can you do?

Good emotional management will allow you to make better decisions. This is an exercise in emotional intelligence that begins by understanding how you feel, clarifying what you want, and what you’re not willing to agree to.

1. Give yourself the time you need

Perhaps a time apart after hearing the news will help you. Because, before thinking about what’s to come, you need to work out where you are at this moment.

If that’s what you need, find someone you trust to talk to. Remember that you’re not the one who’s failed. It’s your partner who’s broken the implicit pact that the two of you had together. You’ll probably need time to work this through. Take as much as you need.

2. Work through your negative thoughts

Even if you’ve made mistakes in the relationship, your partner doesn’t have the right to disrespect you and betray your trust. Therefore, try to avoid falling into the kind of thought dynamics that place you as having caused the infidelity.

You can count on the help of a professional if necessary, as working on your self-esteem in such a situation can be difficult.

3. Value what you need and what suits you

How long can you bear the weight of infidelity? Actually, the first thing you have to clarify is not why your partner has cheated on you several times, but what you want to happen in the future with this person.

4. Talk to your partner

If you decide to continue the relationship, then it’s time to talk to your partner. It should be a constructive conversation, where each party presents their version honestly and responsibly.

All the factors that contributed to the infidelity should be identified in order to correct them so that they don’t happen again. It’ll also be necessary to work to overcome your emotional wounds and regain your confidence. Couples therapy can help you in this regard.

5. End the relationship

Another option is to end the relationship. Whether or not infidelity occurs, you always have this right. Indeed, freedom is one of the pillars on which love is based. If this doesn’t exist, if you haven’t freely chosen to be part of the relationship, it won’t be a positive one.

Sad woman for breakup

Liquid infidelity

Research conducted on the social perception of infidelity claims that today’s relationships tend to no longer be exclusively monogamous. In fact, infidelity seems to become liquid, as do many other phenomena. However, it remains a phenomenon that breaks up many couples. In fact, it’s often the last straw in many relationships.

If you’re suffering from a partner’s infidelity, there’s no universal cure-all. That’s because each couple is unique, with their own individual circumstances. However, this doesn’t mean that it’s impossible for your partner, having been unfaithful for a long time, to stop being unfaithful. Nor does it mean that, if you decide to keep forgiving them over and over again, that you have to end up in a circle of chronic suffering, where you stay together for the simple reason that you’re afraid of being alone.

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • Romo, A. V. E., Romero, F. E. C., & García, L. F. (2014). Percepción social de la infidelidad y estilos de amor en la pareja. Enseñanza e investigación en psicología19(1), 135-147.+
  • Rivera Aragón, S., Díaz Loving, R., Villanueva Orozco, G. B. T., & Montero Santamaria, N. (2011). El conflicto como un predictor de la infidelidad. Acta de investigación psicológica1(2), 298-315.
  • Medina, J. L. V., Colín, B. G., Martínez, M. U. M., de Oca, Y. P. A. M., Fuentes, N. I. G. A. L., & Muñoz, M. A. T. (2013). Las causas que llevan a la infidelidad: Un análisis por sexo. Acta de investigación psicológica3(3), 1271-1279.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.