Stop Leaving Doors to the Past Open and Move Forward

You must learn to close cycles and end stages. In fact, leaving the past behind in a healthy way allows you to move forward with greater poise, having learned some valuable lessons along the way.
Stop Leaving Doors to the Past Open and Move Forward
Gema Sánchez Cuevas

Reviewed and approved by the psychologist Gema Sánchez Cuevas.

Written by Okairy Zuñiga

Last update: 21 December, 2022

How complicated it is to close a door from the past and move on to the future! Furthermore, just as opening up to create new relationships can be difficult, accepting that the time has come to end a relationship is also really hard. As a matter of fact, many people prefer to continue with relationships that are damaging them because they’re afraid of what might happen if they finish them.

Have you actually analyzed what the risks are of staying with what makes you unhappy? Perhaps you get carried away by ideas like “what if I can’t find someone else?”, “what if I regret it? ” and” what if everything goes wrong?” If you find yourself doing this, you’re not moving on, you’re just getting stuck halfway.

Keeping multiple doors open to the past is distracting

Getting rid of what you know and that’s left its mark on you in some way is always complicated. However, leaving multiple doors open to the past prevents you from focusing on what’s important now.

If you spend your life with one foot in a relationship that no longer works, you won’t notice that new person who’s interested in you and who could be just the one you’re looking for.

The same thing happens in any aspect of your life. When you solely focus on thinking and crying over a friend who let you down, you won’t enjoy the company of any new people in your life. However, c losing doors and leaving the past behind gives you time to aim for your   dreams and set new goals for yourself.

Girl opening the door on the beach

Free yourself from the chains of the past and take chances

Keeping the door open because you believe that at some point you’ll get that life back you had before is a big mistake. Of course, it’s possible that your past was fantastic and you were extremely happy. However, you shouldn’t get stuck there. Because the future can offer you great things too.

Waiting for someone who was your best friend to come back to you won’t make the past any more real. Grow up, change your look, move to another city, take any opportunity that comes your way. Don’t be afraid and don’t ever think that you need to be there for whoever left you.

You can’t spend your life waiting for the one who left you to come back or for the one now who doesn’t even bother to turn up to visit you. Maybe one day they’ll regret it and look for you. However, what happens if they don’t? Are you going to live your life based on the valuations of others? Or, are you going to start valuing yourself, no matter what?

Obsession with the past makes you unhappy

They say that people living in their past are plagued by depression . If you think about it, this is easy to understand. Because when you only remember the things you had, you forget what you have and what you could have.

That’s why closing doors is so important. You don’t want to live surrounded by nostalgia and longing for what you were. It’s okay to remember where you came from and to keep your feet on the ground, but you need to pay more attention to what you have today.

Enjoy what you have, laugh with whoever’s next to you, and plan for the future. It doesn’t make any sense to do otherwise. The worst that can happen to you is that in ten years you’ll regret not having fully lived the life you have today.

Be realistic and see the future as an opportunity

Perhaps you’re one of those people who thinks that you can’t end a friendship or a  relationship because that friend can help you get to a certain position you want. However, have you ever wondered if that friend is actually even willing to do it? Maybe they don’t even see you as a real friend anymore.

Silhouette of girl looking at the horizon

Also, you may be committing yourself to situations that don’t really interest you at all. Indeed, k eeping the doors open may seem like a good idea, but they only tend to weigh you down with responsibilities that become a burden over time.

Lose the bad habit of leaving doors open

You’ve created the bad habit of leaving doors open to the past. You  believe that it’s always better to leave a possibility open “just in case” . In case that friend needs you, in case that former love starts to value you again, in case that job opportunity comes up, etc etc.

However, you can’t go through life hoping that circumstances will suit what you want. You need to put an end to situations that have no future. That’s the key to moving forward.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.