Smile About Something You Once Cried Over
Many moments have marked your life, including those when you felt bitter or those that brought you disappointments you weren’t expecting. Moments related to particular circumstances, but also to people; moments that changed a relationship in a matter of seconds. Moments that changed everything without considering the consequences, even when we were being as careful as we could.
People who have even taken advantage of your moments of reflection to punch you in the back. And afterwards, you had to suffer all the damage, just because you wanted to minimize it and the other person took advantage of your space for reflection to end it all. So you had to carry the weight of the anger of feeling stupid, of proving that by trying to protect the two of you, you were the only one that ended up hurt.
You realize that while you were trying to cause the least damage possible, someone tricked you. Without a trace of decency. This causes anger and resentment and can even make you feel stupid. A sensation that you didn’t expect to feel in life.
You have every right to feel this. You can live perfectly well with it, but you don’t know when it will go away completely. Suddenly, one day, without even being aware of it, the moment comes when you think “what a blessed moment, I’m free”.
Stop, because this is a wonderful moment: goodbye anger, welcome indifference and humor. The smile of relief that comes with realizing that we’ve freed ourselves is highly valued. To taste it, first you had to act with a clean conscience, be hurt, and then perhaps hold onto the resentment for a while.
You’ve gone through what you needed to; this was the lottery ticket that you played like anyone who dares to play and also to lose. The big prize is in this smile, whether it be solitary or accompanied.
Our disappointments in life are our future detox
Handling disappointment or betrayal is not easy. Nor is it easy to be stuck at a roundabout that always leads you to the same arguments. Prolonging an uncomfortable situation due to habit or pity means entering into a never-ending loop of stress. Nobody is toxic per se; this is false. But there are toxic relationships or relationships that become toxic. Identifying them and ending them is not easy, above all if you intend to do it maturely.
Never feel bad if you try to do something in a kind way, but end up being betrayed. In the future, you’ll know how to detect the signs that you don’t want to be with someone before they do you true damage. You’ll learn to close doors without making a noise and without anyone bashing into them. You’ll also learn to accept that others have the same right to do this to you.
Wanting to do things well in life says a lot about us. Ending marriages of 40 years, childhood friendships or leaving our first job which turned from an opportunity into a punishment a long time ago, are steep slopes.
However, some people don’t make the effort to do this carefully. They race ahead, betraying you cruelly, clumsily and with cowardice. Never feel ridiculed for having wanted to do it well, to keep it clean. You’ll feel angry, but let it flow.
All Next time you see signs of wear and tear, don’t take any more detours. No more prolonged innocuous relationships. Do it in the best way possible: total indifference.
After anger, indifference, and finally the smile
The evolution of others is not your business, because even the most heartless people can be lucky in life. Think about where you are in comparison to where you want to be, and recognize the value of staying on this path when faced with the temptation that others have fallen into. This, and no other, is the best reference point to help you to maintain your sensitivity during necessary goodbyes, despite the disappointment.
We won’t deny that it is a hard process to disassociate yourself from certain people and habits over the course of lifetime. You’ll think you’re going to lose your identity and each hit will feel like a bottomless pit. In reality we don’t know whether we are changing for better or for worse until one day we start to remember differently something that once massacred us emotionally.
We don’t feel strange about ourselves. We look at our hands, we feel the weight of our legs and we become aware of our presence. Even without asking for help and without anyone offering it, we remain standing. We understand that in the lightness of being we can find all our potential to be truly present.
We don’t need the approval of anyone. We don’t care if we are losers in the eyes of others. We’ve won the battle that could only be fought within. We start to laugh, whether alone or in company. Above and beyond the anger, we feel the pride of having acted authentically and in harmony with who we are.
A smile is only authentic when it makes you feel at peace with yourself, despite the fact that the circumstances were difficult and you ran the risk of being betrayed, as eventually happened. Now, your smile is the echo of the fact that, although someone disappointed you, you didn’t disappoint yourself.
Now you know how the process works and this helps a lot. He who laughs last laughs better because he isn’t laughing at anyone. Rather he watches from a distance how those that do damage end up going deeper into the darkness that they themselves have created.