Others Don't Always See You as You See Yourself

Although it may not seem like it, there's an important difference between how others see you and how you see yourself. It's important to know how to recognize both perspectives.
Others Don't Always See You as You See Yourself

Last update: 23 September, 2021

Do you see yourself as you really are or how others want you to be? This may seem like an unimportant question, but in reality, it’s an important point to reflect upon.

As a matter of fact, once you start thinking about this, you realize that other people may not see you in the same way as you see yourself. For example, how you behave with them or show yourself to them may actually be forming an image of yourself that you don’t share.

“Mirrors are like consciousness. You see yourself there as you are, and as you are not, because whoever sees himself in the depths of the mirror tries to hide his ugliness and fix it to appear at ease.”

-Miguel Angel Asturias-

All of this could have either a positive or negative influence. Imagine, for example, when you’ve put on a few pounds but others tell you that you look fine. This is a simple example that demonstrates that your perspective isn’t necessarily the same as others. Your perspective also influences many things.


illustration of a woman representing how they see us

Many of us have complexes that prevent us from enjoying ourselves. This comes from the fact of projecting an image that we think others will like.

We’re constantly thinking about what image we should give to others and how they’ll see us. What we don’t tend to realize is that many times people don’t see us as we think or the way we want them to see us.

Do you know what would be extremely positive? To begin to interact with the people around you and ask them directly how they see you. This would help you understand that your point of view isn’t the only one and you’d start to see yourself from the outside.

If you do this, you’ll discover things about yourself that you never knew. In fact, everything that others tell you will help you to see yourself as they see you. What do you think you’ll discover about yourself?

“There is nothing worse than a sharp image of a fuzzy concept”

-Ansel Adams-

Sometimes you get swayed by what you think is expected of you. How others want you to be. This can form an external image of you with which you don’t identify.

For example, sometimes, if you’re with manipulative or aggressive people who repress you, you can end up portraying an image that doesn’t correspond to how you really are. That’s because you’re putting your own feelings to one side and being how others want you to be. Don’t do it.

How you see yourself

How you see yourself will influence how others see you. If you have complexes they’ll manifest themselves and people will notice and think of you in that way.

Wanting to be who you aren’t and trying to please everyone. Alternatively, being yourself and not letting anything influence you. It all shows! Therefore, what should you keep in mind when reflecting on how you see yourself? As a matter of fact, there are two extremely important factors here:

  • What you think about yourself becomes reality. Whether you like it or not, everything that goes through your mind will manifest itself in some way. Therefore, think positively and leave the negative behind. Thinking positively about yourself will be extremely beneficial to you.
  • Beauty is created within you. Everything good, everything positive, has to come from you, not from anyone else. Don’t hide what you’re really like and stop trying to be who you’re not. Accept yourself as you are and show yourself to the world.

Treat others well

Also, one of the most important things to keep in mind is how you treat others. Because everything you do tells others about who you are and what you’re like.

woman profile representing how they see us

Treating others well and being respectful will make others see you positively. Obviously, you’ll have bad days. After all, you’re only human. However, generally, the way you treat others will dictate how they see you.

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”

-Anais Nin-

Your perspective isn’t the only one, and the things you see you don’t see as they are, but as you are. Consequently, if you’re negative you’ll see everything as negative. Furthermore, that’s how others will see us, as negative people.

Ask how others see you. This little exercise costs nothing yet it’ll help you open your eyes and see yourself from different perspectives other than your own.  Always remember that your point of view isn’t the only one.

illustration woman in pink representing how they see us

Images courtesy of Lady Simphonia

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.